11 years together

Hi, my wife who I've been with for 11 years told me on Monday that our marriage was over and that she no longer loved me.
We have had problems on and off for some years, mostly to do with inappropriate friendships she has tried to maintain with other men.
Things are amicable as ­object­ively I agree with her that things have never been perfect between us. However I've always been a fighter and certainly do not want to seperate - but of course this is out of my hands.
Anyway, I've spent a lot of time in tears over the last few days. The worst times are when I'm left alone with just the thoughts in my head. I'm trying to see friends as much as possible to keep me distracted.
Because of how intertwined our lives are, I'm still having to collect the kids from her in the morning to do the school run which is equally the best and worst part of my day. I get to see the kids but I'm basically an outsider looking in to something that I used to be part of.
This morning I actually broke down when I saw her and begged her to reconsider. However, she won't. I'm sorry to say that my marriage is over.

Welcome. This is definitely the place to be to see you through this awfull time. The chances are that she's streets ahead of you and has been thinking of this for a long time. You will be in shock and will need to catch up.

Looking after yourself is now your number 1 priority. Explore the site and take advantage of us - only people who have been through it can really understand how you feel. We are here to support you. Take care

this site will really help you out, take 1 day at a time and remember there will be a light at the end of this dark dark tunnel.

Hi

What you are feeling is horrible, but normal. We've all been there.

Look after yourself. If you find eating difficult, try soups and yoghurts which are easy to slip down. Get out and about. Exercise helps produce feelgood chemicals.

You will need to mourn your marriage and you'll find lots of emotions hitting you - don't try to analyse too much, just deal with what is in front of you.

Come on here for advice or to rant or moan, we've all done it.

Welcome to Wiki, sorry you have to be here. Things will seem desolate just now, the carpet pulled from under your feet. We are all here for you and when you feel up to it come into the Chat room, to either just observe or join in, just say you are new and you will be made to feel welcome. It is important you look after yourself and it is helpful to share your feelings. You will feel less alone and bewildered by talking to us, we are all in different stages. All going through a harrowing time, but not that you will believe it yet, there will be better days ahead.

Hi,
Welcome to wiki, you will be thankful that you have found this site, there are sadly lots of us that have been in your position and we are here to help.

So you are three days into the nightmare, and that's a truely dark place to be, but over time it will get better and you will in time feel stronger. The number 1 piece of advice is not to make any desisions at the moment. Do not move out of the FMH, this is a common mistake and can leave you in a much worse position long term.

For the moment keep focused on getting through each day and keeping yourself in good shape, so eating well and sleeping (ok not that simple I know)

Take care
LB

Hi, thanks for all your comments - I've been feeling really lost and alone these last couple of days and it's good to know I can talk to people going through the same thing.
I have been having trouble eating. It's almost as if all food has lost it's taste and feels "flat" but I'll try your idea about soup (not too fond of yoghurt!)
I've not been going to the gym since it happened because any time when I'm alone with my thoughts is a bad time and the gym is one of those times. One of my friends did suggest going to the classes rather than just going on machines or lifting weights since they're a bit more interactive so I'll give that a try. I'm also not sleeping well - I got about 3 hours last night before I woke up and of course with things going round in my head I couldn't get back to sleep.
I have already moved out of the FMH. She claims that she has nowhere to go whereas I do and I certainly couldnt live there with her. Seeing her briefly in the mornings when I collect the kids is hard enough without living together. I understand the issues with moving out but she's already looking for a flat to move in to at which point I can move back into the house (it is our intention for me to buy out her equity).