Re:Bipolar seperation

Hi Emkat
Welcome to wiki. I can sympathise with your situation although I have very little experience of the condition. I have made friends on wiki who are dealing with partners with the condition, so I'm sure they'll be along soon to advise you.

Life throws changes at us and when the balance of a relationship shifts so dramatically you have to consider all the options.

There are the children to consider too and only you can work out the best for all. However, you need to have help in making those decisions and I hope you have friends there and family back here who can support you at this difficult time.

You will find genuine people here also who will support and help you through the coming weeks and months.

Thinking of you.

M x

I have just joined this site and come across this thread about Bi-polar.

I feel sorry for the the poor man who has been suffering with this dis-order. I do have an innate understanding of the condition and am a full time Carer for my 74 year old Father. I don't judge people, only their actions and motives.

I would say this to the wife who wants to divorce her husband with a treatable condition: Get better medical care for him.
You must stick to your legally binding marriage vows, you have no legal grounds for divorce on the basis he is ill.

If you came before me in court I would not tolerate what you suggest.

Richard Branson has Bi-polar, would you divorce him? If you feel the marriage is over then leave him for years and use that as a reason. If you were bi-polar and he did what you are suggesting how would you feel?

I was diagnosed with BP in 2001. I'm fine now, not on medication and use those around me for support. Don't forget I'm a registered carer for my disabled father.

I hope it all works out for you both and your children whatever you choose to do.

Hi,

Emkat, you have a really hard decision to make and the only advice I can really give you is to look into your heart and listen to what it says.

The effect of your husbands illness on your children is not always immediately evident, but will potentially be long lasting.

I tried everything, (my ex had a different psychiatric illness) but he was clever and fooled the doctors. Every time he came home or off the meds he went back and each time it was worse than before, and denial is the hardest thing to deal with. But still he managed to fool the docs and I was always the one to blame.

The NHS is not always good at dealing with mental illness - don't know about the finnish system. Resources are scarce and support is patchy, as the carer, you get left to cope. I became the carer and not the wife. Trust is shaken and love repaced by fear - what is he going to do next? How can i prevent it and how do I stop the kids from seeing it?

Look into your heart, your marriage vows are important, but so are other things and life is not a rehearsal!

Take care, there are lots of people with experience on this site who can give you support and ideas but only you live with your husband!

hugs and love
xx

finallyover

I agree with your sentiments finallyover.

What condition was your partner diagnosed with? If he managed to fool the Doctors, as you say the NHS was lacking, the Doctors below par. On the otherhand why question qualified Doctors unless you are equally qualified or better, or have second opinion from another Doctor? That's rather a strange thing to do and borderline delusional behaviour.

Emkat, I hate to tell you this but there is substantial evidence that BP is hereditory, so your children may have it later in life. They will of course grow up and leave you to form their own families eventually.

As a BP sufferer I can empathise with you as when we have episodes we are a pain in the ass. From what you say your husband is in a very depressed state. Has he had the opposite manic episodes? If my earlier post was harsh I appologise. I will help you get a feeling of what BP is like from the sufferer and hopefully you can cope better. When was he diagnosed and how old is he?
I was 40 when I was diagnosed, for something we are supposed to be born with that seems a little strange don't you think?

Best regards

KIT