Re:Dignity

Thank you to all of you that have read my post.I would like to say yes my ex always made me feel that I could never live without him. The day he left I was so worried how I would cope without him, how I would cope financially,as I only work part-time but I suppose your survival instincts take over and I thought to myself I can let this man who I loved such much at the time pull me down or I can rise above it, believe me it was hard at first. I went into overdrive and started to get my life back on track always making sure I was looking after myself was my first priority. Every time I saw him which was often as my son works with him it hurt like hell but I knew one day life would get better. Last Friday was the biggest turning point in my life as my daughter and I bumped into my ex and woman my daughter have not seen or heard from her father in twelve months we both acted very dignified I said hello but my daughter felt she could not as she has been finding it hard. At that moment I felt on top of the world as I am going to be a bit naughty here and say this ow is ten years older than me I am 45 and proud of it. She looks 65. When she turned up at my house 3 years ago she thought I was my husbands daughter.

Friday evening I had a drink to celebrate by the way don't normally drink, I realised that he had finally gone from my heart as it does not hurt anymore. So life does get better and better. So I wish everyone the best of luck on here life is so precious and its up to you to grab it with both hands and live for the moment.

Lady10 xxxxx

Hi L10,

Great to hear how you have coped & moved on.

I will have to try to do the same.

I am worried about how I will be when I leave my wife. Where I go, what I will do etc. I have relied on her alot.
Worried about being on my own (especially with not seeing the kids everyday when I am home from work)!

I know I need to start thinking and making plans for the future. But I am struggling to just get thru this stage of still being in the MH together, sorting thru our Sep agreement, councilling, worrying about how this is affecting our kids.

Take care L4N

Thanks Lady10 your post has given me a little bit of hope.

I am just 2 weeks into my wife packing up all her belongings and those of my 10yr old son, along with half the contents of the house and disappearing whilst I was away on a course, leaving a note to say our 30yr marriage was over.

She has sought refuge with members of her church and has not been in contact with our 3 older sons or any of her wider family. We are all devastated and I feel as if the bottom has fallen out of my world.

I am going through phases of self-pity followed by self-hate. So many "if onlys" at the moment I can't ever see myself getting over this. I would welcome her back at anytime with open arms and an open heart and I'm clinging on to unrealistic dreams that maybe one day we will be together again.

But your post shows it can be done - you can get over someone whom you never thought you could do without, so I live in hope.

Thanks

hi i wish i could have been dignified but i have felt so hurt and in a way wanted him to know how i was suffering so have had quite a lot of contact. Not any more, i realise that it is totally the wrong thing to do, silence is much better. i am not doing it for his benefit although he has threatened me he will take legal action if i continue to contact hm. I am doing it for me as i am much better as everytime we do see each other i am back to square one. we are going thru mediation so this is tricky but he has shown me what a selfish b*****d he is. He cant cope with me and my emotions so no matter how hard i find it i am determined not to contact him , not easy after 20 years.

Hi Robinson25

I understand how hard it is not to contact ex believe me many times I had my mobile in my hand wanted to tell him how much I loved, missed him, and wanted to have him back and tell him how dare he hurt me this way. If you read my other post under thank you I took my husband back after he had an affair and gave him another chance but there comes a time that you have to say enough is enough. Oh by the way during the last nine months going through my divorce bearing in mind he is with ow he was texting me all the time when he was working away not on weekends as he was with her. I was getting texts like thinking of you 24/7, miss you, lets meet up for coffee,and what you up to, it goes on and on I did not answer this texts. Even after the divorce came through I was still getting texts so what I did was to text him saying thank you for some fantastic memories over the last 30 years I will treasure them for ever. Then I told him this number no longer exists. That was me closing that chapter of my life.

At this moment all the money in the world could not buy how happy I am feeling. So there is life after divorce.

I felt so much better about giving her that free house with Dignity..........you could hardly hear me make a peep about it.............from inside my nice white padded cell with the straight jacket on and the lovely drugs the nice DR had given me!!!!