Re:Dignity

Hi bugsy7

The best way I dealt with my emotions was to write everything down I don't swear but the pages of all my note books turned blue. I also found exercise is a great way to to think things through and clear the head. I run and cycle been doing it for years. Every time I reached a goal in my divorce I would treat myself by going out for breakfast,coffee,something to wear or buying my favorite chocolate.

Friends and Family have also told me how great I look now ex has gone.

Every time I met up with my ex to disgust financial matters I made sure I looked a million dollars and came over very confident inside I was shaking like jelly I shocked him to the core. He has let himself go. Used to take pride in himself.

Well done everyone for holding it together.

In my mind I have thought of lots of things I would love to say to hubby when I next have to see him. Give him some home truths about him and his trollop. I would also love to smash up his personal effects and just hand him the broken pieces. However, I hope that I don't resort to any of these things. In some ways I just think I am a coward for not telling him exactly what I think of him or I am making it easier for him to leave without making a fuss.

However, I know I have to realise that he really isn't worth any of this as he just saps my strength. As everyone keeps telling me I need to focus my energy on 'me' instead but it is so difficult.

Let's hope I can handle this as well as you in the future.

Sonya

Dear Lady

Well done you...but I suspect you were probably a dignified lady before he was in your life....and therefor don't need his validation for this now.Feel good and proud of yourself.

lovelorn

I too have tried to maintain my dignity throughout this destructive period in my life and it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Living in the same house as someone who rejects you and treats you with contempt it's very, very difficult not to want to hurl abuse at them.

I swore at him one night for the one and only time in over twenty years. It was quite rich language and I don't know who got the biggest shock him or me!

I also found it very helpful to mouth, 'Bastard!' as I walked by his bedroom door and if you see a woman in the street muttering 'Bastard' to herself, it'll be me!

Hi L10,

Well done to you. As people have mentioned you don't need ex to say anything.

I need to try and take a leaf out of your book.
I know I should handle things better. But god its so hard. There are plenty of things I have said and done that aren't good and also plenty that is.
I just find it so hard in my situ as I still love my wife and don't want us to part!

i WOULDN'T SAY i HAVE LET MYSELF GO BUT but I have lost alot of weight. Wife like s to tell me how awful I look.
Wife well she just looks stunning. She has always looked great but even more so now as she is trying to find the new improved me(she is seeing someone at the moment).
She is so on the rebound!

Take care and keep it up. Sounds like it comes naturally to you anyway.

Njoy your weekend.

L4N

Hi Lady10,

I also suspect that you have never had an issue with being confident about yourself, and I do mean that in the most positive of ways -it was perhaps just a case of the stbx knocking some of that confidence away. So I am taking that away from your post - more time looking after myself.

I also could not agree more with the handle everything with dignity. Yet, amazing how we can trip ourselves up on that one. And if the truth be told, I'd happily help my ex "trip up"!

Good for you and carry on in that positive ­frame­ of mind. I, for one, take heart from that.

Welldone L10, I am doing exactly the same and it is evident that sometimes he can't handle it, ha ha!
Go go Girl, let them eat grass!
This century is for the females of the world, we beat the males of this world hands down. Not my fault they are living in the 19th century (well most of them anyhow!)
I'm hanging in there, maybe there is a Dick van Dyke out there for me, but I'm not putting any money on it!!!!! Supercali xx