Hello from hampshire (helping mum)

Hello everyone..
This is my first time here, I have a couple of questions but I will put them in the correct forum I hope as this is just an intro

My name is Lee and I am 41 and my mum is 63. I never used to see what was going on because I moved out of my parents house when I was 18 and made my own way in the world and visited my parents every few months as I lived in London and they did not.

Things have changed dramatically now (opened my eyes) and I want to provide my mum with information and not pressurise her which has been my stance for a long time.

My mum first discovered my dad was seeing someone else about 15 years ago. The pattern up to recently was this:

1. slept in the same bed
2. my mum not doing anything about it
3. 90% of the time my dad is not in the house as he was with the woman friend so was bearable.
4. I took my mum to a solicitor about 7 years ago so she new all her options (still no change)
5. I was in a serious car crash in South Africa in April 2008 and had no choice but to move back with my parents.
6. When its just me and my mum its great as we have a laugh but as soon as my dad returns (randomly) he talks to my mum like sh*t and is the king of the castle. When Tiger Woods cam on the news he was saying in front of my mum and there was nothing wrong with cheating on your wife as everyone does it… I nearly throttled him.
7. If I get involved too much my mum is left with the crap when I leave again so I don’t want to rock the boat. (may be the problem is that it needs rocking!!)
8. Paying bills is always a chore for my mum (just works part time) as its like getting blood from a stone with my dad. His excuse being he is never there. (I help my mum financially)

My dad has recently got a new job and he does this all week

1. Arrives about 6:30am from his woman’s house
2. Gets changed and showers
3. Goes to work and because he is on call he comes back when he’s quiet.

This has you can imagine is driving my mum crazy as it was ok while he was hardly here. It’s also driving me crazy as I am trying to recover from major head injuries at the same time.

Any advice on how I can help my mum would be great (without pressuring her). I have a couple of questions about books (my mum loves reading so it would be a good way for her to educate herself) and inheritance but I will post them in the correct section.
Thanks
Lee

hallo Lee

What does your mum want to do? If she wants a divorce unreasonable behaviour would seem the simplest route to get one. What is stopping her from telling your Dad to move out?

Do they own the house? Whose name is on the deeds?

Hi

What does your mum want to do?
>She had up until now always weighed up all the hassle ans scariness and unknown of a divorce against still living with my dad (just pops in now and again). Because he was only at the house one a week ish she took the lesser of two hassles. My dad is now at the house every day. she had not made a decision to divorce but I want her to have the information so its less scary eg: losing the house?

What is stopping her from telling your Dad to move out?
>He would simply not budge and will not be told what to do.

Do they own the house?
>yes they both own the house which is now paid off.

Whose name is on the deeds?
>They are both on the deeds.

Lee

Thanks for the reply. I won't always be here as I will move back to London when my health improves next year sometime.

I though wll do as you say which is partly why I found the forum to help my mum with information.

Thank you

Lee

thank you .

Lee