Obsessive behaviour

I think some people find it far easier to give it out than they do to take it, and he is now on the receiving end. He is no longer in control, so maybe he thinks he can bully or manipulate you into doing what he wants so he in charge again

There could also be something that is common in a lot of people's relationships in situations like this - if he can make you out to be the bad person in all this, if he can convince himeself that he is doing everything to sort things out, that makes the guilt yours and not his (in his eyes) so he can not have to carry his guilt around with him

Just my two pence worth

Sun 13 wrote:
I think some people find it far easier to give it out than they do to take it, and he is now on the receiving end. He is no longer in control, so maybe he thinks he can bully or manipulate you into doing what he wants so he in charge again

There could also be something that is common in a lot of people's relationships in situations like this - if he can make you out to be the bad person in all this, if he can convince himeself that he is doing everything to sort things out, that makes the guilt yours and not his (in his eyes) so he can not have to carry his guilt around with him

Just my two pence worth

Just re reading this post and I think you are exactly right here. When I have tried to talk to him to helo HIM he is keen to talk so that he can try to manipulate me.

He has slated me to all family, friend, neighbours and tried to make me the baddie but all that he has done is to discredit himself and he has no one now. I am not saying that I am perfect, I am far from it but I have tried to be a good wife and mother and have looked after him. He in turn has been a dreadful husband and I think deep down he knows it and is trying to turn it all around. He only had to make some very minor changes and I would have stayed but he just wouldn't give an inch and so has lost everything. He tells everyone loads of lies and I think he is starting to believe them himself but he is full of guilt and that is a hard one to carry. Thanks

Sometimes its a case of the STBX not wanting to let go as a control thing take my stbx

She left last year to have her affair she had the divorce papers sent to her October last year and just would not sign them, last week papers served by baliff service.

I guess its not helped by me being pleasant and ploite with any dealings I have had to have with her, guess she wants me to be a wreck and wanting her back, but hell would have to freeze over!

Its the letting go most STBX have trouble dealing with it would seem