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Hi singingrep and welcome
Reasons for the breakdown of any
long-standing relationship are usually highly emotive. By definition, we
react to such things in a highly emotive way. I can hear your emotion in
your posts. It's understandable.
However, when relationships
break down where children are involved, it is very important that we try to
separate how we feel about our partner/ex from the parent they are. It is
the children's needs that must come first. What is right for them. If
staying with your mother is a 'safe' interim for them, then so be it. I do
think, though, that you should see it as an interim. What to do about your
marriage during that interim? Only you can know what you want or don't
want. I would just ask this:
How can you know what you will want
when your emotions subside, whilst they still run high?
I would
take a step back, focus on the daily needs of your children and yourself -
sometimes events overtake us while we are trying to make a decision and it
becomes clear what we should do. What I wouldn't do right now, in your
situation, is try to make a life changing decision whilst you are so
upset.
Good luck and keep talking
Shezi
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England and Wales 
