Unreasonable behaviour as a reason for divorce

The fact that you have lived apart for more than two years says it all really, but without consent you cannot use it to divorce.

What you have is choices, stay married do nothing, wait five years and divorce without consent, or, what most people seem to do and file on the basis of unreasonable behaviour, often people think well what would i write? if you think about it though better you separated how was the relationship, did you talk much or argue even, how was the love life physically, often its virtually none existent, as JJ said how did you feel, loved? doubt it, did you still socialise together, probably not.

Marriages tend to end either because of one person being unfaithful or heading that way, or, it just dies for what can be a million reasons some can be silly some very nasty.

The law is very rigid, how often have we read on wiki, we just want to divorce the love has gone its over, we don`t want to blame or accuse and we hope to stay friends (ish) for the kids, how do we do it? and the answer is wait two years, separate or live like strangers in the same house, even then if you live together you risk a judge refusing the petition.

Then the anger, your telling us we have to wait two years then fill in a load of forms that make no sense and wait four or five months? oh and pay court £385?, yup that`s right, sorry.

Often people wonder why they must go through a process to divorce, why all the forms?, when they married no applications were made to court nor did they need to wait months while a judge decided if they could marry, so why jump through hoops when the same two people decide its over?.

Many people have suggested that when people decide to marry they should be given at least some basic information of what can happen if it goes wrong, is it a good idea, probably, will it make people think before they marry, doubt it, they are in love, excited and think it will last forever.

How many married thinking this wont last, certainly not me.

Hmmm Fiona said its time to worry when you find yourself answering a question but can`t remember what the question was, oh dear, what was the question again?.

I wrtoe to my wife and said give me consent in writing to divorce on 2 years sep or ill divorce you on UB and claim costs. consent was easy enough then.

Thanks everyone for all for your inputs. I have been thinking about reasons and trying to recall specific instances that led to separation.

I have a question; my stbx had sent a petition (draft - this was not filed) during the first few months of separation; is this something worth mentioning in my petition to bring out the fact that the marriage is over?

Thanks in advance
destiny.

All the replies here seem very confusing and some incorrect.
You can't use the fact that you left her as evidence of HER unreasonable behaviour.
You can't use the fact of her issuing a petition as evidence of her UB.
You can't use the fact that she won't agree to a divorce on the grounds of 2 years sparation as evidence of her UB.
If you can't think of any specific UB then you probably didn't have UB grounds to leave her.
If you just fell out of love, didn't like her anymore, fancied a change then you will struggle to find UB grounds.
Most people can cobble together some accusations to overcome that fact. However it doesn't alwasy work. My ex left me for another woman, despite the fact that weeks earlier we were still making plans for our future. He issued an UB petition against me. It was possibly the most feeble, groundless (and quite kind!) divorce ever. Even I could think of more horrible things about me than he could think of! Anyway, the judge rejected it and under pressure I issed a petition against him instead, which wasn't too difficult!
I do feel for you, most people cave in after 2 years, you really need to talk to her and be kind and try to get her agreement. Of course if you can think of some dreadful things about her, then you should be okay.

You can't use the fact that you left her as evidence of HER unreasonable behaviour.

Of course you can, the aim of divorce is to show a judge that you should no longer have to live together, if the behaviour of one spouse causes the other to leave then that shows the marriage has ended.

There is only one ground for divorce in England and Wales which is the irrevocable of the marriage.If two people no longer live together that just about says all a judge needs to know.

State of mind is factor to be reckoned with. The test for unreasonable behaviour is whether the respondent has behaved in such a way that a reasonable person would conclude that the petitioner cannot be expected to live with the respondent.

If it is alleged that the respondent squeezes toothpaste in the middle which is annoys the petitioner any reasonable person would conclude that this was part of the wear and tear of living with someone, and that it was not unreasonable to put up with it. 
 
It would be different when a petitioner said they had a traumatic childhood experience involving toothpaste being squeezed in the middle, the respondent had been told and repeatedly asked not to do it because squeezing the toothpaste in the middle triggers memories and makes him/her feel stressed and unhappy. If the respondent deliberately continues to squeeze the toothpaste in the middle a reasonable person would conclude that the petitioner cannot be expected to live with the respondent and therefore the marriage has irretrievably broken down. 

Common examples of unreasonable behaviour accepted by courts include;

Non communication -long periods of silence
Controlling behaviour
Workaholic
Selfish -spends too much time on computer/playing games/sport
Prefers friends company to that of petitioner
Petitioner treated like a housekeeper
Lack of interest of an intimate nature etc
Not helping with chores etc
Financial irresponsibility

The allegations need to be serious enough to justify divorce but if they are truly awful it can waste time and money amending, defending or dealing with a cross petition. Inflaming the situation has the knock on effect of protracted and expensive financial negotiations/proceedings and damages long term family relations more than necessary.

Excellent post Fiona, a very good explanation.

Some will remember Attila, a solicitor who helped on wiki a couple of years ago, he actually used the toothpaste bit in a petition, the applicant suffered with obsessive compulsive disorder, the respondent knew fine well squeezing the toothpaste in the middle would upset the applicant, the judge accepted the petition and allowed the divorce.