Asked to leave

Because you are married you have rights to occupy the matrimonial home. The usual legal advice is to remain put until arrangements for children and finances are in place. It isn't very pleasant staying together when the relationship breaks down but once you move out there may be no incentive for your wife to settle.

Having said that in the medium term many people do move out and find that makes it easier to separate the emotions from the practicalities. More constructive progress can then be made so there is less damage to long term family relationships. Most divorcing couples settle between themselves.

You can take most of the advice here, if you are able to.

It is good advice.

However, it is not easy and generally only the hardest of personalities can stay this life of emotional battering.

You do put yourself at risk of the items mentioned, but ultimately your share of any matrimonial assets will not change if you do move out, however a lot depends on your circumstances and where your going to be in two years time.

If you are both working, things are a little more even, but she might quit work.

Depends how old your son is?

Most of us dads on here, and some mums, do end up moving out, I did to be honest I didnt have the character to stay and be brain battered.
Remember this, she has been ready for this for a while, she has already planned, probably done searches telling her what to do and may have been squirreling money away too for a couple of years, thats also what a lot of forums tell people in her position to do.

If you do move out, you need to be armed and set up what will probably be the norm for many years to come, namely seeing your son.

As regards personal possessions, people can and do get hung up on having them, I did, but to be honest stuff is just stuff, it gets replaced long term. People fight over sofas and washers but when you get your own place, you would discard these things without too much thought.

If you do move out it will be your decision and right for you, make sure you pre plan and have what you need.
Whilst you are there it will be difficult, very difficult, you will probably not get much quality time with your son, you will if you leave.

Also if you leave make sure you have a schedule ready for when you see your son and on what terms, maybe use this as a bargain for negotiation if you are to leave, she wants you out and will stoop to great depths to acheive this.
Too many dads leave then try to sort out contact, you've already gone so she doesnt care...
If she wont agree to your terms, your still in the house.

I dont regret leaving, I had to retain my sanity and dignity, either way its not easy.

My ex was same as yours, asked me to leave, stay at so and so's house, they dont think you should have a decent place of your own to live.
You ultimately need a home for you and your son.

Thanks, I will try to stay put until some kind of agreement is in place.

She is definitely capable of anything though. Over a year ago, she filed for divorce. Her grounds were horrible, ­base­d on lies and taking things out of context. She requested that I should not be allowed to see my son without supervision. I believe this was all about getting as much money as she could.

My son is nine years old now. Since the petition, I've looked after my him on many occasions. She even went away for three weeks and left him with me.

She is getting close to completing a teaching course, I've always had it in my mind that it would be better to wait until she's completed that and found a job.

Another point: fathers often think they have to move out. Often they will receive a letter from a solicitor demanding that they move out. This has no legal force - only a court order can do this.

Of course, sometimes things get to the point in a relationship where you have to move out if you are to retain your sanity and composure, the last thing you want is to be accused of domestic violence, but moving out does seriously weaken your position.

Good luck.

richard, from your last post, looks like you may not have a smooth road ahead.
I think maybe because of the hassle you ahve had, its not out the blue so maybe the emotions for you are not so bad, many of us had the rug pulled to put it very mildly and simply.

If you are fairly stable in yourself you will be better able to deal with things.
Sounds like you will be off to mediation and sort finances and child arrangments, dont back down on the child arrangmenets, remember you are an equal parent, its not about her and her son, its about your son and his right to spend time with each parent.

Stick with wiki richard we are all capable of helping you make decsions through the process but at the end of the day only you can act and know what is best.

Dont be the second rate parent in this, stand up for what you think is right, treat her now as a business item to deal with, bematter or fact, no emotions no discussions like you would when you were married, thats when you compromised, that dont happen any more, she wants what she wants and she isnt interested in you or your welfare.

Forseti wrote:

you will immediately expose yourself to petitions for child and spousal support;


My ex left the house a year before I did so could she not have made any claims against me? (apart from child support ofcourse)

Richard, If it's one thing I learnt from dealing with ex in court it was that no matter what stay calm, stay focused and HARP about the welfare and benefits to your son. Judges love it when parents just concentrate on things that matter. With agreements be rational and a " realist" as some judges like to refer us dads to and be open to suggestions from anyone official who gets involved. If you are deemed to be "reasonable" judges love it. As I said before my ex accused me of so many things but in court the judge sided with me from start to finish and gave me contact in my favour which she didn't like. It was the max I could have without custody..

So as the chances are you will have to be the better person. DO that and you really can't go wrong.