Re:Spousal Maintenance

There is no reason why a wife should not pay a husband spousal maintenance and it does happen, the law is not gender specific in any way.

As always its best to agree first and think of court as a last resort.

You should also know that court will look at your historic earnings and when you are likely to find work, plus the usual income and respective needs for you both.

Maybe some time with a mediator will help explore other solutions, for example would a change in the division of assets help rather than asking for maintenance especially given the obvious complications.

Thanks for the prompt response Dukey,
I suggested mediation initially and we did have one session but my wife refused to attend any further sessions.
Also, we have both purchased properties with the proceeds of the fmh sale.

Does anyone know a formula to calculate how much spousal maintenance I would be likely to receive, or to make an educated estimate ­base­d on the numbers already given?

No one could even guess with out knowing your wifes disposable income and your shortfall monthly.

Your wife earns 58k is that net or gross?.

The other important factor is your wife has three quite young children to pay for.

Your historic income would also be considered, you were earning 75k, you hint your job skill is one that really needs to be advertised nationally have you done this?, is there lesser paid work you could take as a stop gap?.

It would be a shame if you ended fighting this in court only to have an order varied after a short time when you gained employment, assuming court thought some PP`s should be ordered.

Maybe before you decide you should talk to a family law solicitor and get some advice ­base­d on full details rather than the snapshot given here.

Very recently after being married for 12 years, I have found out my wife is having an affair.

After a bit of snooping around, I actually called the person she is having the affair with and he even admitted it on the phone to me.

I am English, my wife is Foreign ( Indefinate Visa ) for the past 10 years since we have been living in the UK, she has not once tried to get a Job, only to go to collage part time two days per week.

I am a working man with a net income of £1100 per month we live in a housing association house under a secured joint tenancy agreement.

I have a credit card debt of over £5,000, I have always paid all costs of living and have pleaded with her to get a part time job to assist in paying the bills, she has always told me she is to good to work eg in a supermarket, this is why I have accumulated credit card debt ( most of it )however I have manged under a financial debt management plan to stop the esculating debt.

I spoke to the housing association and they told me I can sign a notice to quit my tenancy, I was about to do it when I started reading up on Spousal Maintenance this has now thrown me into complete disaray for it would appear I am going to have to pay this.

I do not wish to keep living in the house with my wife who keeps lying to my face, using me for her own security I need to make a break.

It would appear however that Spousal Maintenance is goign to make my life very difficult.

I am over 40 and she is mid thirties, does anyone have any advice.

Thanks

Please can you explain a bit more about the paragraph with regards to servicemen and maintenance being limited.

I am in the process of getting divorced and am negotiating a 'fair' maintenance settlement.

We have been married for 30yrs, two grown up children, started with more or less nothing.

My husband is now a high earner, I gave up my secretarial career to care for the children and then over the younger years worked part time around them and school holidays etc.

He had a seven year affair and I then gave him another chance because of all the history, I had been with him since I was 15. I know this will make no difference to the 'pot' as such but just for background. It didn't work.

My income now is £600 a month his is £7,000. What is deemed fair and should I stick to my lifestyle as it had become over the years? Or just accept a lower amount. We are going through a 'Collaborative' divorce and the to'ing and fro'ing between meetings is costing a fortune which is draining our finances somewhat on a monthly basis, of which I will not recoup as he will be able to in the future.

We have no mortgage, he has a large pension, which he has now stopped it seems paying in to and of course savings.

I just want to reach a decision without having to go to court which I could stand a chance of getting less than is offered and having more fees to pay.

BW,

just reading your post from 18 months ago and I'm going through the same thing.

How's life with you now?

Steve