My Children

THANK YOU SO MUCH Mumtoboys... x

Just want to say Mumtoboys - your advice and posts on this are fantastic!

A true 'Children come first' workable situation.

It sounds like its been blummin hard and tough for you, but you've done your kids proud!

It would be good to have your 'Golden rules of Advice' on a Wiki header locked thread for all parents facing separation/divorce to read, print out and refer to ...............

Thank you!

WR x

Hi Mumtoboys, I have been trying to cut and paste your response to a friend of mine to enable her to print out for me. No Joy... is there anyway that you could cut and paste your end and send me it via email.. when you have a moment please. I would be truly grateful, like White Rose said, your post is fantastic and to read this over and over and to be able to refer to at any time, is going to be so helpful to myself, my husband and our children. Thank you Lisa. xx

LOL White Rose. Just cos I can spout it on a forum doesn't mean to say I abide by it! Although I do at least figure if I know what I'm aiming for I manage to bite my lip at least some of the time! Only this morning I was cursing the computer for not working and saying (under my breath!) how the hell am I going to get this fixed with no money because that father of yours sure as hell isnt' going to pay his flippin' maintenance and the eldest pulled out the money box again!

I am aiming for saint status but am only just a level above hell - doors could open any moment and I'll drop in, believe me!

Lisa - try copying and pasting, rather than cutting and pasting. That should work for you! I do think that if you can manage amicable and work out what works for you as a now separated family, you're about 90% of the way there. There's mediation or Relate or a bog-standard counsellor for everything else. Be open to needing a third party to support you both in seeing the other person's view point. This is something my ex is dreadful at - and he's actually a counsellor himself! It doesn't end with the divorce - you have years of parenting ahead of you. Recognise that things might rub along nicely for a few years and then something throw a spanner in the works (probably one of you committing to a new partner) which will need sorting. Good luck - you sound like an adult, which is more than can be said for my ex!

Also found your advice really helpful and have copied it for future reference. Thank you.

Hi itchy ... how do you copy and paste this brilliant response from Mumtoboys please.. when I highlight and do control c to copy it hightlights the whole screen..?? Thank you Lisa. x

Mumtoboys - what an absolutely fantastic post!

I read it twice and thought the only thing I might add was "To always, always, put the children first no matter how hard" and then I read a bit further and that's what you'd written.......

Your children have a beautiful teacher !

Anyway to copy successfully;-

Click 'quote reply' then copy and paste the bits you want into 'Word document' of your choice, then cancel 'quote reply'

Does that make sense ? Just tried it and it worked...

HTH

poppy