Re:new to the site but need help

hello there everyone.

my wife and i are seperated and have filed for divorce allready, only to have it turned down by the courts.
we both want to move on with our lives and get the divorce finalized and submitted it as UB. at the time we were running a public house and in august last year 2009 we ended up living in seperate rooms and working apart from each other. then in Nov she moved out and got a place of her own. the list of UB items i applied to the petition were obviously not major enough for the judge to divorce us. problem is now we have been apart from eachother since november and we both want to move on with our lives and meet new people. my wife has also told me that she has commited adultry since sleeping apart and we want to re submit the papers but worried that if we submit them again they will be turned down again. this is money we just dont have to throw away. plus i have taken ill since this all started and i have now been put on anti deppresants and suffering from epileptic fits aswell. can someone please give me some advice so we can get divorced and move on with our lives, any ideas of how to write and apply the reasons correctly so that the judge will pass it through. at the moment my life is a mess because of this. i have lost my home and now living back with my parents at the age of 37 and i hate it. there are no children or money involved, we just want to be divorced.
regards
martyn

Do you know why it was rejected? What stage was it at?

It may be worth your while to see a solicitor to help draft(or amend) the petition, to make sure this is accurate. If it was rejected at the point where you submitted your special proceedure affidavit then usually the letter from the court would give a reason - if you quote from that letter we may be able to give you more advice.

If it was rejected at an earlier stage it was probably for dministrative reasons and the court staff may be able to explain the reason to you.

it was rejected due to the fact the reasons were not sufficiant enough i can only imagine.
below are the reasons i gave which both my stbx and i agreed to.
1. we worked and run a pub working 24/7 which led to the irretrevable breakdown of the marrige due to the pressures of the job.

2. we were living seperate lives and not going out together at all.

3. we slept for a long period of time in seperate rooms whilst living together.

4. constantly arguing all the time with eachother.

5. we no longer are living together and as a result i lost my job in the pub which was also my home because of the seperation.

6. to date we have both moved on with our lives and since living seperatly we have agreed that we want both to have fresh starts and move on.

those are the reasons we both agreed but obviously they were not enough for the courts to grant us a divorce. so any help so it will be granted would be gratefully recived by both of us so we can amend the petition and reaply it to the courts.

martyn

Hello martyn, what are the reasons you are claiming Unreasonable behaviour? living as separated means you would have to wait 2 years to apply for a divorce and perhaps the courts thought you were trying to pull a fast one claiming UB.
Could you not reapply siting your wifes adultery which you say she has already admitted to?

All the best, Chris.

Im not an expert but upon reading your grounds - you are not exactly blaming her specific behaviour more like your combined behaviour if that makes sense. You have to give reasons that it is your belief that it is the respondent's sole behaviour/actions that have lead to the breakdown. You need to prove you cannot reasonably be expected to live with her due to the actions stated.

Otherwise that is why there is a two year separation route.

For instance if you had have said the respondent refused to sleep in the same room as you which caused you great loneliness and distress (you can also add engage in usual marital activities).
The respondent refused any suggestion to go out with the Petitioner to any social function preferring to go out on her own. This created tension which led to frequent arguments.
The Respondent refused any attempts to discuss marital difficulties perceived by the Petitioner, simply indicating her desire to move on and following arguments on an almost daily basis moved out of the matrimonial home on xxx date. This caused the Petitioner great distress.

The Petitioner is now aware that an inappropriate relationship has formed between the Respondent and a Gentleman. This behaviour the Respondent finds totally unacceptable.

Due to the Respondents continuing behaviour the Petitioner has been forced to cease employment and is being treated by his GP for depression, anxiety and stress.

ok so the above is an example of what I mean, not greatly worded but I hope it gives you an idea of where Im coming from.

Like Chris now says you can go down the adultery route - if she is in agreement with that, so long as she admits it in her acknowledgement you're up and running

I hope that makes sense?
Hope it all goes well.
Waso

Martyn

Firstly divorce is a marathon not a sprint, you have only been separated under the same roof since August, and under seperate rooves since November.

This makes me wonder if your were married for a year before you applied for divorce. If not then it would be a mandatory refusal.

If you are OK on the length of marriage, do you fall under the jurisdiction of the court (i.e. meet the residency rules and have a mariage that is recognised under English law)

If you are OK there you need to show the judge that your marriage has irretrievably broken down. Thnere are only five grounds to establish this:

Adultery
Unreasonable behaviour
Desertion
Two years separation with consent
Five years separation


Reading your list I would not be convinced by what you have written that your marriage has irretrievably broken dow. Many people run pubs, have arguements and sleep in seperate rooms without their marriage being damaged beyond any hope of repair or reconciliation, in fact your list tells me that you should get out of the pub trade not the marriage.This is not however your aim here. Whilst I have been typing Waso has listed exectly what I was going to say. You need to show why you cannot be reasonably expected to live with your spouse and give examples of their behaviour. You cannot divorce someone for your own (unreasonable) behaviour, joint or otherwise!

If your wife is happy to agree go with the adultery and agree to split the costs of the divorce and consent order. You will then both be free and no-one sees the paperwork except the court clerks and judge anyway (unless you are really famous)