Re:Crying constantly again

Was doing better but yesterday and today have been crying constantly. Husband sent me an email in October needing to be alone and has not spoken to me or seen me since I only get sporadic emails. Found out another woman and he is going on holiday with her soon. This seems to be upsetting me more and more. She is younger than me but no match in the looks department (and I am not Miss World!)

I feel sick and empty still and I just do not see this ending or a life without this feeling inside me constantly.

How can we all be abandoned without a backward glance leaving devastation and not seeming to care?

Sorry rambling but helps stop the sobbing.

Mia, it happens a lot. Fourteen months on, I still wonder how someone who professes to love you can just walk away without a second thought, and without any apparent feelings for the trauma and devastation they leave for those left behind to face. They're just not interested - they've embarked on an exciting new life for themselves, and nothing else matters, so long as they're all right.

It defeats me how people can be so callous and self-centered.

So my sympathies go out to you, and others like us in the same boat.

Chris

If I remember correctly MiaD, yours is a long marriage and you have only been separated a few weeks and have had to cope with Xmas with all its associations of family and adverts showing happy couples. What you are feeling is entirely normal and understandable. There will be days when you will cry constantly and days when anger will grip you and days when you are just so so tired of it all. It hurts that the other woman is younger but to be honest she is just different. As I am sure you will have read from others, the psyche of the errant spouse is such that they have trained themselves not to give a backward glance. To do so would be too much to bear for them and interfere with their new lives. This new woman may be younger but is certainly not better. Life will gradually get better but only if you begin to act proactively.
1. See your doctor who may prescribe anti depressants or at least be a friendly ear. Mine told me that although I think I am alone he sees hundreds of women like me.
2. Look after yourself - eat well, exercise, get a new hairdo .. anything that makes you feel better as a woman
3. Make a list of all the things that annoy you about him ( and there will be lots if you have been married a long time) and a list of things that are better now he is gone
4. See a solicitor and make sure you are prepared
5. Plan a holiday for yourself!

The sad fact is he is gone and this is incredibly painful and life will never be the same. No matter how well you are doing, there will be days when you cry a lot. And certainly I felt it got a lot worse before it got better. And ramble on - post in the blog. You are certainly not alone. Take care X

things will get better once you know what is going to happen Mia. At the moment you are in limbo. I have been there myself and it can mess with your emotions. I can totally sympathise and understand how you are feeling. My ex husband found a younger model, and we were seperated for 3 years. It is like a bereavement, even being seperated, you will go through every emotion possible, then you will suddenly realise that you have come out the otherside. It took me a fair while, and today i have recieved the decree absolute and i cant stop crying. But hopefully this is just a phase, the final phase, and i can then look forward. Try and meet up with friends for a chat and a cuppa, it always helps to have a friend you can confide in. Best of luck.xx

I read your post and it hit a chord...I'm in the same boat as you. Crying constantly with no light appearing at the end of the tunnel. It's utterly pants that he's left you to pick up the pieces...I can't understand how a person can be like this, you wouldn't wish this awful feeling on your worst enemy. I'm told that things will get better, I've been through a bad breakup before and I know things do get better - it can take time. It's so important that you don't over analyse things too much (easier said than done!)...take baby steps to heal you. I find doing the housework helps a lot...routine stuff like that. I hope you find some solace knowing that you're not alone. Sending warm hugs your way xx