One step forward, two back

Thought I was doing ok yesterday. Felt a bit stronger, even looking at properties for me to rent. But spent last night awake, worrying, crying and really missing him. I know I will get through this but i am just so sad.

I want him to put his arms around me and tell me he has made a mistake and that he doesn't want us to end for ever, but i know that this won't happen and that makes my heart so heavy.

Have booked to see a counsellor tonight to see if that will help.

I just want to get past all of this and feel normal and worthy of being loved.

Sorry - can't stop crying - probably tired?


Anyway I better make a move to get to work - another day to 'get through'. x

Hi momo

What you are feeling is very natural but flippin painful. This is a time of rollercoaster emotions and all you can do right now is take one day at a time. Heres a few tips to help you get through this:

Eat small meals, even if its just soup. You must try and keep up your strength.

talk to friends and family, or your fellow wikis...keeping everything bottled up isnt good. Blog your feelings and wiki friends will reply

Dont make any rash decisions esp about money

You arent alone. Realise this straight away. You are no part of a huge community of peoploe all going through this. Many of us have come out the other side too and will offer you support and advice

Just take one day at a time. Tiny steps forward

Keep in touch momo and welcome to wiki

DA

Thank you. I am just really finding things a struggle at times. It probably would be better if I hated him, but I don't!

However, I really do need to sort out a place to live for myself as being under the same roof is very hard for both of us (and at some point we will have to tell my step-daughter which is going to be so hard).

I am considering a house/flat share as a) it will be cheaper for me and b) it might be nice to have some company in a house rather than being completely on my own for a few months? At least until we can sort out what to do with the finances.

I am talking to my friends but again - they all have their own lives to be getting on with - I don't want to burden them with my worries too, especially when there is nothing they can do to make it any better.

Hi Momo,it's very ,very difficult to get through the early days in a relationship break up and I know that constantly "going on to friends"about your situation can be a worry in case they find it too much to cope with.Personally when I have reached that stage in the past and have felt the need to talk I have rang the Samaritans.They aren't just there for Suicidal people so don't think you can't ring unless you are at that stage.Sometimes talking to a stranger can be a big help to get you through the darkest hours.
You will start to feel better when you start a new life but it will take time.Do you actually know anyone who would consider house sharing for a while? This would be quite a good solution if you do.

Thank you.

No I don't know anyone who is looking for flat share (ironically all of my friends are married/living with someone).

I have signed up to quite a few websites dedicated to finding flatmates so hopefully I can find a nice, happy environment to live in and lick my wounds?
x

I hope you manage to find a good house/flat share as that could be just perfect for you and if it isn't you can always leave without any huge difficulties.
Even though all your friends are in couples I think you may find that once you are single you will begin to meet other singles if you start trying new activities and going to different places your social life will expand.It may be a while before you feel up to doing this but when you are ready it will happen even though you can't imagine this now.
Good luck xxx

It's very difficult to adapt to being single overnight, well, at all really! Living alone is very strange at first, so if you're feeling you'd be better sharing, that may be a good plan.

As for feeling you can't burden friends with your worries, real friends will be there for you but you know that wiki friends will be here when compassion fatigue sets in with friends at home.

You're right, they have their own lives and you need support which sometimes they simply can't give, but we can. Wiki friends are online when other friends are busy. We understand how you need to tell what's happened because talking is a therapy. Keep going into Chat so that you don't feel so alone.

Mitchum xox