Decree Absolute today and cant stop crying...help

My decree absolute arrived today, i knew it was coming at some point, but as soon as i opened it i burst into tears.
I feel very low, tearful and not wanting to eat anything. I thought i had gone through mourning my marriage during the seperation phase. But the finality of the marriage ending officially has completley overwhelmed me. I have got another man in my life, and we have been together for a year, but the way i am feeling at the moment, is that i just want to be on my own, and not speak to anyone really. I am soon going to be moving to another town as my ex is buying me out. the children, aged 22 and 18 are staying with him. this alone is tearing me apart, i want my new life, but i dont want to leave my kids, my job, friends and my life. Now the divorce is through, though i feel i am free to go. i am just so mixed up and feeling horrible. can anyone tell me how long this will go on for? i should be packing but i just cant be bothered...whats more i feel a massive migraine looming. i really need a big hug i think and aome tlc.

Big hug coming up

((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))

I don't know how long your feelings of desolation and sorrow will last. Maybe for a long time. They may disappear and reappear.

The feelings are horrible, but normal. You can and will be able to cope because that's what human beings do.

I'd suggest having a good cry and a hot bath and see how things look in the morning.

No one can prevent unhappiness but we can choose how we react to it.

Perhaps making a plan of what you need to do to move might help you focus.

thank you for your reply. I did have a good cry, with my ex too as it helped. I had a hot bath, had some more tears, a whopping migraine and some disturbing dreams that night.
The next day i felt a different person. I am feeling much more positive and a lot stronger, and i do feel up and down. I am more positive about the future now. Thanks for the hug.
xxxxx

I can remember crying too and I was the one who wanted the divorce!!!!

I think its because we dont want to fail and that certificate shows that somehow we did.

I wrote a blog on this just the other week. http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Blogs/11440-Decree-A bsolute-The-End.html have a look, you will see that how you are feeling is very common and I guess quite natural.

You can PM me if you wish x

jaymdee wrote:
I can remember crying too and I was the one who wanted the divorce!!!!

I think its because we dont want to fail and that certificate shows that somehow we did.

I think its a mistake to see divorce as failure. We dont think that a film is necisarily a failure becuase it has ended. Nor do we think a day is a failure becuase it has turned into a new day. We judge things to be a success or failure due to its content, rather than if its ended or not. A film can be good or bad. A day can be good or bad also.

Try to concentrate on what was good in yr marriage. There is always something good that comes out of something that has ended. And if you cant find anything good, try and look at what lessons U can learn from it. Often, when we do something the 1st time. We dont get it right. But we should learn from it. So that next time, we do better. We make wiser choices and we do so with knowledge. Like choosing a better mate more suited for the trials and tribulations of life...

Divorce realy is the ending of something and the beginning of something all at the same time. One door closes and another opens. Try and think positively about what happened. Hope it makes sense...

Lastly, welcome to yr new life. Its a nice clean canvas you have. That you can paint or draw on it what you want. A new year and a new start. But start as you mean to go on. By being positive. C.

Marshy..... will you marry me? lol..

You always say just the right thing x