For the new ones - five stages of grief,

Great post mike!

This post can help many people.

I loved it!

Thanks Mike. Has anyone else got as strange a sequence of events as I have? Husband of 35 years, father of six grown children, been seeing another woman, treating her much better than he has ever treated me for five years. Found out two years ago, gave him the choice. He said he wanted to stay with me but kept on with 'Madam' behind my back. Eventually had to ask for a judgement. Decree Nisi months ago. Made him a good offer for division of assets and he said he was going for an Xray as he had a pain in his chest. Lung Cancer (smoker). Illness does not stop him being verbally abusive. Thing is, I've been going through all these stages with mega depression for two years as he made a fool of me, so now I feel numb. Am giving him lifts to hosp. appts. but I feel none of the anxiety about his situation that I would feel if I were a 'normal' wife. Whether he lives or dies, I do not feel anxious at all. I'm drained, empty. Clawed my way back from acute depression and have no emotion left towards him. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel anything. Have moved on. Has anyone else had such an experience?

Thanks Mike. Has anyone else got as strange a sequence of events as I have? Husband of 35 years, father of six grown children, been seeing another woman, treating her much better than he has ever treated me for five years. Found out two years ago, gave him the choice. He said he wanted to stay with me but kept on with 'Madam' behind my back. Eventually had to ask for a judgement. Decree Nisi months ago. Made him a good offer for division of assets and he said he was going for an Xray as he had a pain in his chest. Lung Cancer (smoker). Illness does not stop him being verbally abusive. Thing is, I've been going through all these stages with mega depression for two years as he made a fool of me, so now I feel numb. Am giving him lifts to hosp. appts. but I feel none of the anxiety about his situation that I would feel if I were a 'normal' wife. Whether he lives or dies, I do not feel anxious at all. I'm drained, empty. Clawed my way back from acute depression and have no emotion left towards him. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel anything. Have moved on. Has anyone else had such an experience?

hi.I have had similar experience.My ex I was married to for 23 years and have one grown up and one teenage child.he also had an affair and has mmoved out to live with older woman he carried on with for 3 years.Since our divorce he has had different life threatening illnesses,ranging from bowel cancer to heart disease and is supposedly being treated for bowel cancer now.Every time he has one of these dramas I am dragged into whatever he is doing, and have now learnt to distance myself from it.I listen to all he has to say and sympathise but do not get emotionally involved, as I find thats the only way to cope.I have moved on, not in a new relationship yet and its been 3 years but know I could never go back to living with a manipulative liar,despite our numerous years together.I find it strange every illness occurs when i am shown to be moving on further away from our relationship.So I would say keep your distance and no what you are feeling is normal and no you are not going mad!I would ask for proof too cos thats what I am now doing!

5 questions to shift your life

thought these questions would be of worth to you..

1. What in my life am I grateful for?

2. What is the biggest problem I am facing right now?

3. What is the positive learning to me about this experience?

4. How do these lessons benefit my life?

5. If the situation was exactly the way I wanted it to be, what would the potential drawbacks be?

Powerful questions can really help with the depression cycle.

Hope this helps
Marina x