Bloody hell

Hello all and hope everyone's well or at least getting by.

For reasons beyond me I've taken a major step back the past couple of days since dropping the bairn back Saturday. I don't know why but doing so really upset me, even more than usual, and I've been on a downward slide since. I helped the bairn make a mother's day card for the ex on Saturday (card, glitter, etc) and bought some chocolates for the bairn to give as a present, and privately asked myself what the hell I was doing.

What I believed was a permanent shift in my feelings towards the ex clearly hasn't been as my head's once again full of memories of better times and I miss her dreadfully. WHY I still do, given the wider proceedings, is insane, but hey ho. It's just come over me like a wave.

Not really sure what the point to this post is, sorry! Just disappointed that what I thought was a newfound resolve, isn't. Only to be expected, I know, but regrettable all the same - sadness and loss aren't as easy to manage as hate.

Take care, all.

Hiya Carter,

It doesn't just go away overnight. How could you have spent so much time with each other and done so much together without creating all those memories? Can you just wipe it out? I couldn't. I'm 3 years on from the split and have only in the last 6 months begun to feel dispassionate about my ex-wife. I still worry for her well being (and sanity! ), but don't miss her or want to go back.

Its a very fine line between love and hate.

But you will heal. I never thought I would. But when you least expect it, you do.

Keep on looking after the 'bairn' and being a good dad.

This whole game is one step forwards and three back.

Best of luck

Mike

Don't worry Carter.Schoolboy error your ex will soon cure you of that sentimentality for her, soon harden you up, when fathers day comes and go without so much as a phone call and all the other lil things like your birthday because she ain't gonna be sitting their making cards for you outta glitter.
All the best
Pete

Hi Carter

This is something we all know too well - the rollercoaster. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. Sometimes there's a reason for it, sometimes there isn't (or at least one we can see anyway)

It's all pert of the process buddy, just stay strong and stick with it

Thanks, all. Pete - you're bang on, mate. I do my best to ensure the bairn has 'normal' relationships with us both while at the same time being perfectly aware that if she could, she'd eradicate me from the bairn's life. So I think myself bloody crazy for even trying. Then I find myself missing the ex! I'm losing my bloody marbles, I swear.

Didn't help that I found a passport photo of us both on Sunday that I didn't realise I still had. Ironically enough, it made for nice confetti.

Petes spot on. Your probably a sentimental chap. I am like that sometimes. But as time passes you will learn. She dont give a fiddlers about you mate. I bet you dont make her a card next year lol. Best ones. C.

I just wanted to say well done for helping your little one make a card and pressie for her mum. This will mean a lot and say a lot to your daughter if not to her mum.

My son had the weekend with his dad and celebrated his birthday with him yesterday. I did get a mothers day card from him, but he told me he wanted to buy me a present and dad said "no" a card was enough. I knew my son would want to get me something, however it also made me realise what a hard hearted ex I have.