Living On My Own - Extremely Difficult

I am understand your feelings of isolation and i want to assure you that it gets better in time, been 16 months now for me and i have come to, if not enjoy; at least to accept living on my own.

There are even a few plus sides, i know you won't believe me at the moment but it can be very pleasant to just please yourself and chill on the sofa with a book and a glass of wine.

Sure it can be lonely from time to time but it is very liberating to get up when you want on your days off, no snide remarks or bickering; a leisurely breakfast and then plan your day to suit your mood.

I wish you well, Chris.

chris75 wrote:
it is very liberating to get up when you want on your days off, no snide remarks or bickering; a leisurely breakfast and then plan your day to suit your mood.

This sounds like my life C.

The snide remarks and the bickering i suppose? Not a million miles from mine either!

Hey Sonya,

I do not think that you have a single thing to feel ashamed about! You are in a situation that you had never envisaged being in and you are simply trying to cope. Throw in a modicum of shock, betrayal and anger, et voila - a right mess (massive understatement)!

So a natural reaction is to head for support and that is the right thing to do. However, as you have found out, back to the parents, when we are a little older and set in our own ways, is not the perfect solution.

Also, living in the home, that was previously a sanctuary now has many unhappy memories. Little things like the photos and the things that you bought together only "remind" you of the past. That being said, you should stay there, but to feel better, you will need to de-clutter. Once the financials are resolved, then you can start anew.

It is all frightening stuff and unchartered waters. But you will gather strength from it all, eventually.

Try to start living for you, but also slowly step away from the support network.

Thanks guys. I am going to make a real effort to try and get back into the house even if I have to take it slowly.

I suppose in a way I am scared of being there and breaking down and that it will become out of control. Plus there is the silence to contend with. (I will just have to start talking to myself.)

Perhaps I am just a little mouse inside whereas people are always telling me how strong I have been. Funny how we can put such a good front on when we deal with people.

Maybe I have now got some sort of house phobia (must be a name for this type of condition out there somewhere ) or perhaps I am the first person to be like this. I could be a miracle to science!

Anyway this little mouse is going to have to start roaring.

Way to go Sonya! Keep those positive thoughts at the forefront of your mind and maybe you will roar!

Sonya,

It takes time to adjust and you will slowly make changes.