OMG someone help before I go insane!!

So how do I stop this control?
If I ignore emails he says I dont have the childrens best interests at heart..he blankly refuses to liase through a 3rd party (the police asked him and he said he would only deal with me as the childrens mother)..I know he's a control freak and a vile nasty man...yes he has his new family, beautiful house blah blah...why cant he leave me be?
I have emailed him saying son has cut head but been treated (his contact is this weekend so he would notice) and am now sat with a feeling of dread because either (a) he will reply with email telling me I'm a bad mother or (b) he would acknowledge the email therefore making me think he's informing people of my bad parenting...
Social Services (when he last reported me) talked to the childrens school and my child minder and wrote it off...then the woman from SS phoned me and said I was being abused by my ex and gave me the number of the East Cheshire Domestic Abuse people who helped me cope a lot.
Lou x

Lou,

There are no easy or text book answers in dealing with such control freaks. The price I paid was high as you know. That your ex is saying to the police and others he will only deal with you is interesting...his arrogance that he will always be "allowed" this may be useful. Is there any way you can seek an order that he is not allowed to harass you via contact/child issues? This man is a bully, and bully's are nothing short of insecure cowards that when we stand up to them...they lose their control....as I say not easy, but not impossible.

E

It sounds to me like he's doing this because he knows it gets to you. Can you black his emails, or change to a new email address altogether? Keep the emails you have received so far and complain to the police about them, and how they make you feel. If he carries on, a court order would probably be the next step, then he'd risk a fione or a criminal record. Most bullies back off very quickly when someone stands up to them

This behavoiur is not acceptable, and there are processes in place to stop people like him behaving like this

Sun, thanks...but the guy is a bully through and through.
The last time things got so bad that I had to call the police he then told them that I harrassed him and his wife and had a notice also served on me!! I argued with the officer who served it asking what he had seen which amounted to me harrassing my ex and he said he hadnt seen anything, that the request was sent through from the force where my ex lives...and failure for me to sign could lead to my arrest..so of course I signed.
He still has not emailed me re: sons cut head...think he will be on the phone to the authorities...makes me feel very sick...waiting for Social Services to call my child minder...nightmare it really is.
Lou x

He's very much in the driving seat with all this Lou, and I bet he's loving it! He still has the kick of hurting you, controlling you and winding you up, but the distance probably helps him to feel safe from any comeback. Can you see a solicitor about this, or maybe ask at the CRB, they're usually pretty helpful

I know this is easier said than done, but try to ignore this petty behaviour as best you can, or realise that the only reason it's happening is to make you feel bad. Why should you care what he thinks of you anyway, and if it leads to any kind of investigation then remeber that he's the one that has come out of this looking bad in the past and will do again if he tries it

There's a theory in some cultures that if a monster is trying to attack you, all you have to do is to turn your back on it and this will remove all its power to hurt you. If you can show him that his threats and harasments don't bother you, or if you don't play his game by responding to them, he has no more power to get at you. Try not to read his emails or texts, and block his calls. Just ignore him and his empty threats as best you can

(((HUG))) thanks..I am going to try and ignore him now...I really am.
I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow along with the kids to get the doc to do a report on whether he thinks the kids are neglected.
It beggars belief that despite my ex leaving me 2 years ago, devastated, he took everything away from me, paraded his young piece of skirt from day 1 almost driving me to suicide...why oh why would he want me to keep hurting? Why doesnt he want a nice quiet life where we can talk easily about the kids in a calm, decent manner?
How long will he continue hurting me? Does it get better?
Lou x

I certainly hope so Lou ((hug))

It doesn't look like he'll stop when he's moved on, so maybe he'll stop when he realises he's wasting his time and that you are no longer rising to the bait

I really don't know why or how some people can make themselves feel better onlly by making somebody else feel worse. But I'm sure that it points to problems with him rather than problems with you. Low self esteem? Feelings of inadequacy? It sounds to me like he has some issues somwhere. But the thing is these things should be NO LONGER YOUR PROBLEM. His new wife gets his baggage along with him.

You're worth more than being this man's punching bag Lou, don't let him get away with it