OMG someone help before I go insane!!

((((((lou))))))

I agree with the other posters. Your ex is making this as difficult as possible for you , maybe its due to your audacity for expecting CM and given his evasion of this, I cannot see him seeking residency. As for his requesting reports, he wants them, let him arrange and finance this! Take care, as other posters have noticed, you are stronger than you perhaps realise.

E

Hi Lou
Once the report are done (that he should pay for), perhaps you could warn him that if he does this again you will take out an order against him to stop pestering you. Sorry I don't know the legal term for it. Perhaps one of our legal boffins would know better if this could be possible. IMPO I would try it. Take care lovely x
Donelovin

Heylou, he,s trying to break your spirit, by his constant demands, my husband, used to tell me I was insane and thick, and that I imagined everything, he was having an affair for 5 years, but hey yet again I imagined that also. your husbands made his choice, tell him to .... off and move on, and leave you in peace, and as for headlice, my daughter when she was 8 years old had them for ever more, and I tried everything, and spent a fortune. You know the thing is, if you called his bluff and told him to take the kids, not that Im suggesting you do, on a permanent basis, he would soon change his tune big time, when he realised that he couldnt socialise whenever he wanted, honestly, dont play his game, like others have said, ignore him, if you know you are a good mum, thats all you need to worry about.

Hi Lou

I agree with the other posters here re let him get the reports etc.

Re the head lice, its part and parcel of kids once they get to school age, most will end up having them at some point, mine included. I personally wanted to avoid the chemical route and found essential oils added to the rinse water after washing their hair combined with regular combing worked very well.

A book I've got called The Fragrant Pharmacy suggested a few to use and I found a few drops of Rosemary added to the rinse water after shampooing/conditioning worked really well. Apparantly its used in some hair preparations as the little bugs don't like it so discourages them from coming on to the child's head in the first place. Although it has a strong smell in the bottle, it doesn't actually make the hair smell of it.

We already went down the police harrassment route..I called them last summer and they came out...then he sent them to me..the police warned us both not to send emails other than re: contact with the kids.
At first it was great...then he started sending me pics of him, his wife, their kid and my kids all playing happy families so I emailed asking him not to involve me in his family life as it was upsetting...but he carries on...in 1 recent email he mentions his wifes name 8 times!!
He is a very intelligent man and his emails are worded so as not to sound intimidating but they are.
He is claiming these reports will ease his mind about his kids...that I dont give him enough info on their lives (I swear I tell him everything..from losing a tooth to certificates at school and I have the emails saved to prove it).
To top it off this morning...youngest son has fallen off his brothers bed and cut his head and ended up in A and E being "glued"...lol...another thing that my ex can berate me for.
Lou x
PS Little son is fine..ate breakfast and doc said he was well enough for preschool!

Hi Lou,
Do you have an actual court order in place or have you both agreed contact mutualy?

Regarding head lice, well my kids have had it numerous times especially my D as she has really long hair, if one child gets it so do all and then repeated if other parents haven't realised. It is annoying but normal, this cannot be held against you, your ex will look rather foolish if he were to pursue that as neglect. You have already been be given the all clear by social services, they would obtain reports them selves should they feel it necassary. Do you know if they did? if not you don't have to obtain the reports at all unless it is ordered by the court. He cannot force you to do any of it. Before you hand over any reports, see if you can get a letter from him in writing demanding these reports and why. If at any time you attend court etc you can forward this as evidence and that it has caused you much emotional harm and stress, it sounds as though your ex is doing this becuase you got the all clear and he got told off! he is not doing himself any favours at all by constantly causing you these probs even though it has already been investigated, the judge will not be impressed by his actions or recent events!nor will it go in his favour should he seek residency. But get as much in writing from now on as poss. If the reports are his request and not not by order, I personally would hold onto them until you have his demand in writing. Then if you wish you could forward him a copy. The HV will not do a report unless it is requested by court or social services, I have just had to obtain all of mine, but the HV is not allowed on my or my soliciotrs request. But medical ones and police you can obtain your self, as I have just done so. Any other request by him get in writing or ignore him. You don't have to do anything unless it is ordered by court or social services. x

Lou,

You asked ex to stop doing something informing him it upset you, he continues doing this...speaks volumes!

All you describe in your posts screams of control, your ex has his new family however still has responsibilities to his first family...responsibility and control are not the same thing...it will be difficult, but you have to find a way to turn things around, these control freaks only get away with their games if we continue to play them...the "price" may be high initially, but in the long run, if you are not accomodating their games, they have to look elsewhere to satisfy their sickness!

E