OMG someone help before I go insane!!

Please see other posts for details about my ex.
The latest thing I'm met with today is him saying I neglect the children..that 5 y/o daughter has constant headlice (I know...I comb her hair with conditioner every night to no avail and chemicals dont work either...shes not crawling with them but always has a few eggs / tiny lice) and that the children have said they have no toys to play with (mystery as have HUGE fully stocked playroom).
He wants a report now from my doctor, HV, Child minder, family worker (who did him a statement back last summer saying Im a really good mum) and from our daughters school and sons preschool...this is tearing me apart...I am a good mum..why is he doing this? I was with him for almost 10 years..he left the kids with me when he went away on business all the time...he left me to be the main parent...what do you think he's trying to achieve?
Anyway, I have requested the reports and will fund them just in the hope it gets him to back down.
I'm getting really ill because of this.
Lou xx

Big hugs Lou. You're a lot more tolerant than I am. If my ex dared to turn round and say any of that to me I'd have told him to take me to court as I refused to be sucked into his stupid games. What an idiot.

Does he want residency? Or is he just trying to break you? (tragically it seems that this can be a motive with some ex's).

Send him copies of the reports when they come back in (keep the originals for yourself) and also send him a curt letter telling him that this is the last time that you will be bowing to his ludicrous demands. Finish the letter by telling him that if he wants anything else confirming your ability as a mother then he will need to take you to court. Time to stop indulging his stupid games.

Take care Lou xx

Hello

My step kids Hmmmm the two girls had head lice more times than i can count, the lad who had quable cquap her had them once, at that age head contact with other kids is a daily event, if kids having head lice makes a parent a bad parent then that would be just about all of us, i know its easy to say just ignore him but i certainly would.

Dukey

(((lou))) if he wants a report, let him order them and let him fund them. If he is so concerned about his children that he feels they require professional intervention, then quite frankly, he should be calling Social Services directly. He should fail to return them after contact if he feels he has grounds and let the law system kick in if they're that badly off. Idiot of a man, he really is. He's trying to wind you up - don't let him.

For your own sake, I really feel you need to stop all direct contact with him. If he phones, put it to answerphone. If he texts, ignore it. If he e-mails, don't respond. You know you're a good mum, you don't need to answer his constant concerns - deal with the professionals and then ONLY if they turn up on your doorstep. He will step up the campaign for a few weeks and then stop. He's looking for a reaction. Don't give him one - one sided games are not much fun.

PS Think I read tea tree oil is effective on lice/eggs. Smells like hell, though!

Thanks you two.
I think he wants residency (although he left us, moved a 2.5 hour drive from his kids) and that was 2 years ago and he sees em every other weekend and 4 weeks of the school holidays and so I dont think he'd have a hope in hell of getting residency unless he can render me insane in the meantime which is part of what I think he's trying to do.
He emails me when he has the children to the tune of "XXX had 3 big lice, 2 little lice and some eggs in her hair and XXX had 3 little lice and some eggs"...what the hell? I get this every other weekend...I've asked him to stop and he wont.
I will send in the report...and yes I will say that it proves I am a good mum, that I have been a good mum since he walked out, I've held it together despite losing my home and having him and his piece of skirt constantly trying to send me mad!
Some days though I just cant carry on.
Lou xx

I think that you are stronger than you think Lou. You have put up with such a lot and have survived and still have your childrens interests at heart.

Tell him to get knotted and if he wants reports then let him arrange it and pay for it. Have you tried calling his bluff? I have done so even though I don't have small children and he has given up now. I just don't add fuel to the fire.

Headlice is a constant problem and it is a well know fact that they only like clean hair. Don't beat yourself up with it, it has happened to all of us (I've even had it mymyself)

Stay strong you have survived this long, you can do it>

mumtoboys - he did make an accusation to social services in December 2008 which was investigated, found to be unjustified and he was "told off"...it made me so ill that I lost almost 2 stone and had just about the worst Xmas anyone could ever face having.
If he didnt return them after contact I dont know what I'd do..I cant get legal aid, have no money for a solicitor.
He's so unfair causing me all this stress when I'm doing my best.
I'm seeing my doc tomorrow hopefully to see what they can do to help me with my ex.
Lou xx