Re:Costs and do i have to pay

Ok so right now your just being asked to pay, thats good, when you go take a couple of spread sheets one for your income and one for what you pay out, the judge needs to know your living on £400 per month at your mothers house.

Its simple if you have to pay costs you can`t pay the mortgage, you still may be ordered to pay but if you are then you will have to forgo some mortgage payments.

You can`t get blood from a stone.

I think your ex needs a reality check. She cant expect to stay in a house when it needs so much of your income to support that.

If you look at your relative incomes. (I have assumed your take home is approx £1600 ­base­d on your fiqures) there is no way a court would suggest that you should pay the amounts you are paying at present.

I would bite the bullet and tell her your reducing the amount you pay her to CM approx £350 + maybe £100 towards the ongoing cost of the mortgage until the house is sold and see what happens. As you need to find a home for yourself and the children when they visit. At present there is no real reasons for her to sale as she is financial doing well.

Obviously the risk you take is she defaults on the mortgage and the house is reposssed but would she really be that silly?

Thanks for the advice re the spreadsheet. I was considering writing to the court prior to the hearing and providing documentary evidence in relation to my income/ expediture and what my ex is getting from me.
With regard the house i have been paying 50% of the mortgage since seperation in Dec 10 and continue to pay.
I am obviously desperate to find a place of my own- a 40 year old living with his parents isnt the best!
But more importantly if i did have my own place i could have all three of my children and share the care although this has been mentioned to the ex but again she is not happy with this.
In respect of if i did not pay toward the mortgage and whether my ex was silly enough to allow the house to be re-possessed, i cannot honestly answer that question as all forms of reason, from her disappeared a long time ago, making all conversations difficult, especially telephone conversations as 99.9% of the conversations are terminated by her slamming down the phone, therefore not allowing any reasonable conversation about any aspect.

Be careful with what you attach to the D11, it should really be a fairly short explanation of why you need to hearing, don`t send a heap of paper work to it.

Again its not a good idea to write to the judge between filing and the actual hearing, if you do it will be ignored or passed onto the other side.

Do your talking during the hearing and keep it to the point,, this is about the costs of the divorce and why you should not have to pay them.

All the other stuff selling the house and having a place where the kids to visit will be talked about at the AR hearings, but not the directions you have asked for.

To confirm. I need to fill out a D11 and submit it to the court with a brief explination as to why i oppose the costs?
When do i submit this?

I`m a bit confused so ive read it again,

You say you have been ordered to pay, are you sure? does it say how much?.

The nisi hearing is later this month, usually this is when costs are decided, you both attend and make a case as to who should pay, i don`t see how you could be ordered to pay before the hearing.If you like send the exact wording to me by private message.

have sent you a message