Who pays the costs?

Hi

As mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I'm struggling financially and can't really afford to commence divorce proceedings. That aside, I am hoping to somehow come to an amicable financial agreement with my husband, take 50% each and just get the hell out. However, I was told that if things deteriorate and it goes to court it could cost us approx 10k each? My husband has said that if I try to do anything legally to get a penny more than he thinks I should have he will drag a court case out so long there will be no money left to split. I am therefore scared of putting this on a legal footing because of the bills. Is there a winner and loser in a divorce court and does it end up with one paying all the costs or do you both pay your own? I have no doubt if I called his bluff I would win due to his high earnings compared to mine and hotel receipts etc I have found with his and his mistresses name on. I just wondered if my fears of any legal action were founded or could I call his bluff?

zed - the costs of legal proceedings in these cases can run into the 10s of thousands and if you have a look around this site, you will see many people who have paid huge amounts to the legal profession.

That said, you are entitled to a fair settlement and need to get some advice on what might be fair in your circumstances - if you look at the posts under 'ancillary relief' in the forums you will get an idea of the information you need to provide to have people here give you an idea.

A fair settlement will vary according to the lenght of marraige, whether their are children, your respective incomes, debts, value of pensions, etc. It is not necessarily the case that you have to accept 50/50.

I haven't read your other posts, but if you are struggling financially, have you checked out whether or not you might get legal aid?

The general rule is that each party will bear their own costs.

When considering the division of assets in a long marriage, you start at 50:50 and work away from this depending upon the circumstances. The needs of any children, your ages, your earnings etc are all taken into account.

How far you decide to take the dispute should depend upon the ultimate value of the assets. There is no point in spending £20k on legal fees to get an extra £25k - you may as well avoid the dispute and release the money now.

However, it is worthwhile obtaining legal advice to determine whether you are entitled to a greater share of the matrimonial pot.

You are not alone in your situation - a lot of 'old school' men begrudge splitting the matrimonial assets 50:50 as they believe they earned the money and should keep it - no matter what sacrifices their wife has made during the course of the marriage.

Charles

We both work full time - he earns 3 x what I do, I am paying half the mortgage and half the bills - we are still in the same house and both came into the relationship with nothing. No kids, 8 year marriage, 14 year relationship. I just want to take half and get out BUT, as I am being blackmailed about what will happen if I do attempt legal action and he doesn't even think I should get as much as him, I thought it would be useful if I could persuade him to be reasonable by saying that he could easily be the one footing the bill if he chooses to intentionally rack up huge legal bills for us both. I am not entitled to legal aid due to my salary but we have such a big mortgage and large bills on a big house that I am left with about £23 per week after my outgoings for bills, petrol and food.

You could minimise the costs by self repping - with help from here.

That is what my x did.

I ended up with a 10k bill he ended up with £850.

The decree nisi and decree absolute costs were split equally - this tends to be the norm. These were higher than need be becuase we ended up having to get the threat of baliffs to have him sign for the divorce.

Then there is the financial bit - this cost £240 (may be less) to file to cover court costs.

You need to start the divorce to be able to do the finances... it is stressful when your X "plays games" and trys to blackmail/bully etc even with a solicitor - but there are plenty of people on here who can give advice.

As there are no children and you are both able to work, do you think you are entitled to more than 50% of the matrimonial pot? Are there pension funds involved in the settlement?

Charles

Making an appointment to see a solicitor to find out where you stand and what options there are given your particular circumstances can help you make an informed decision how to proceed and if self representation is the best way forward.

It isn't uncommon for one party to make threats such as to dragging out proceedings or stopping work to prevent the other spouse from making financial claims. Most come to realize that they are damaging their own long term financial interests and don't carry out the threats. You cannot reason, negotiate or appease someone who is totally unreasonable.