divorce costs

Hi 50andfree,

I agree with the other posts, you sound angry that you have been betrayed and quite rightly so, however justified or determined you are in outing his betrayal, just step back and think of yourself.

He's hurt you badly, but the best way to heal won't be to instigate a lengthly, emotional, expensive divorce suit.

The ultimate revenge would be to hold your head high, take a deep breath and move on without him.

If you embark on this battle, no matter how determined you are it could swallow up a lot of your time, you'll get angrier and maybe bitter - what a waste of time, he won't 'learn his lesson' and you'll be months or years down the line still feeling the way you do now or worse (with an ever depleting bank balance)!

I know it may seem that everyone is advising you almost to 'let him off the hook' or letting him off easy, but this isn't about him, its about you.

You need to concentrate on yourself and as devastating as you feel about what he has done, the way you will feel better is moving on with your own life.

Divorce is going to happen - my advice - get rid of him quick (Charles advice is spot on), if you burn your hand on the oven, you move it away damn quick, you don't hold it there ......... same with divorce - such an awful experience - why drag it out for longer than necessary, why willingly elongate the pain?

I wish you all the best - and you've come to the best place for support.

Take care WR x

H i feel exactly like you. i took my petition to solicitor and said i wanted to name other woman. my solicitor said it was rarely done and advised against it. my husband said he would admit adultery but before sending petition to court my sol wrote to him to get him to sign an agreement to admit this. he has not done so yet as who is paying what costs has not ben sorted out, we are hopefully doing this at mediation next week. at first he said we would pay it between us but he has been so horrible and hurt me so much i have changed my mind. i dont see why i should pay, i didnt want him going off, didnt want to seperate or divorce so i will see how i get on next week. pm me if you like

Alternatively, he could admit to the adultery but defend your claim for costs. You are almost guaranteed to get a costs order as any Judge will see that you are the injured party. If your ex agrees to this course of action, he will get a surprise when the Judge makes the order.

Charles