Re:Potential situation - ex-wife refusing me access

Hi everyone

I would be grateful for any advice on a situation that I now find myself in.

I have been divorced for 3 years now. I have been seeing my son on alternate days at the weekend and days in the school holidays over the year. This arrangement has usually worked well, and we have both been flexible in changing days when necessary.

However, before Xmas I introduced my son to my new girlfriend of 7 months. This was a very gentle introduction and done with my ex-wife's knowledge as I had discussed this before hand. My ex-wife also has a long-term partner with whom she now lives with. He seems to get on with my son so there are no concerns there.

It was from this point of meeting my new partner that my ex-wife seemed to change. Over the Xmas period she posted an offensive video of me on Facebook and to my phone and sent me abusive messages by text. She then accused me of sending her photos of my new g/f and then of posting an intimidatory letter to her. She then became awkward and messed around with contact arrangements, changing these to a day I was not due to have him at the weekend. This caused a row, culminating in her refusing to speak to me.

I was concerned that my wife was trying to claim I was hassling and bullying her, and her controlling behaviour (to apply for some sort of order against me - totally unfounded as she was harrasing me more than the other way round). It was for this reason that I spoke to the Police. They visited her and advised her the implication of sending abusive messages and to stop it, reaffirmed that I had advised that I had nothing to do with the photo's/intimidating letter.

She has now said that I should not contact her by any means/or visit her home or workplace. I am worried about contact with my son - should I simply tell her that I will pick him up at the weekend as is my turn as she has told me not to contact her but not mentioned anything about contact with our son ? I firmly believe that she is acting out of spite and is not happy that I have introduced our son to my partner/the involvement of the Police. I'm very sad at how things are, and the prospect of not seeing my son.

Sorry for the rambling post, but I want to give the full picture.

Any advice gratefully received ......

Thanks

I am sorry, I tend to concentrate on issues relating to matrimonial finance. So I tend to leave issues regarding contact alone.

In the medium term there may be hope because of the Government's apparent willingness to give fathers some legal rights.

One thing, however, seems to make sense, namely that contact denial should be addressed early or there is a risk that no contact becomes the norm.

You may find the Families Need Fathers website helpful as well.

LMM

LittleMrMike wrote:

In the medium term there may be hope because of the Government's apparent willingness to give fathers some legal rights.


I've missed that one.
What has the goverment done?

It appears you have police backing which is a bonus!
Whatever you do nip it in the bud. Perhaps an amicable lawyer's letter first with a reasonable deadline followed by an application if your ex refuses to play ball.
Delay only ever benefits one parent, usually the mother because she'll be the one "rocking the cradle"...
Good luck.

I'm not sure that giving parents legal rights would stop problems from occurring. In Scotland both parents have had the right to have their children living with them or contact for years but it doesn't prevent these types of situations.

There is absolutely no point in trying to communicate directly with your ex and a solicitor's letter may well do the trick. If your son is old enough to be collected and dropped off at the bottom of the drive or from school you could try that.

I agree that there is no point directly communicating with your ex, and to do so would only inflame an already delicate situation. Therefore a solicitor's letter might do the trick, or alternatively is there a third party you could ask to collect your son and return him to mum following contact?