ex says my daughter not well, so i can't see her

hi all, i currently have contact 6 hours every other saturday, my ex has told me i can't have my daughter tomorrow as she has been to doctors and has tonsillitis. i called the doctor and he tells me no, she hasn't been but telephoned and was advised to give her calpol. what can i do? i am capable of caring for my child and can also administer calpol if necessary, any advice please

i had a similar thing,i asked my ex to provide alternative care arrangements-she didnt,i then rang the doctor and asked if he had been,he had,i then asked the doctor to confirm whether he was well enough to see me and he said yes,then i asked,this is my advice too,for the doctor to confirm he was well enough in his medical records.

I recommend you ask your ex for alternative care arrangements and if no then you wont be seeing them this weekend,you will have to just accept that before your next court appearance where you will present the medical records saying no visit and request a clause be added to your court order:in the event of minor illness e.g. Cold contact will still take place,if any deviation is requested,alternative equivilent time shall be agreed between both parties...

Dont over react-short term loss,long term gain,give her enough rope and she will hang herself.

Good luck

thanks for that, she is now saying i can have her for two weekends in a row the following time, after denying me weekly previously, so that's gonna work in my next favour when it goes back to court, may be a blessing in disguise, great advice about getting a clause written in the contact order.

Hi Hunny and welcome to Wikivorce.

Im sorry you wont see your daughter tomorrow, I can understand its disappointing - but kids get sick from time to time and it can't be avoided. If this was becoming a set pattern then it would give me cause for concern, but if this is a first or an irregular occasion, then I wouldn't be too worried, other than being concerned about your daughter.

Why not drop off a Get Well card tomorrow for your little one, I bet it will help her get better if she knows Dad has sent love and hugs in a card.

Although you will miss your parenting time tomorrow, the up-side is that your ex has suggested that you have next Saturday instead, by which time your daughter will be much better, and more able to enjoy your time together.

Hope she feels better soon.

Children who are unwell often want to stay at their main home and in their own room with mum and other things.

My girls have suffered with tonsillitis since they were very tiny and I got to know straight away just by looking in their mouth whether they had tonsillitis, or a sore throat that may or may not turn into tonsillitis.

I didn't always take them to the doctors just kept them warm in bed ensuring they drank loads.

The fact that your ex has offered you contact to make up for missed contact should assure you that your daughter is indeed poorly.

I used to always buy my daughters a comic if they were poorly so you could do that and take it round, she would like that.

Hi there,

I think it's a shame that your ex has lied to you about your child's 'diagnosis' of tonsillitis at the doctors, but as has been said, give her enough rope!! Note it down and mention it in Court.

That said, your ex has offered the next 2 Saturdays in a row, so at least she's willing to do the right thing by your daughter in allowing rightful contact.

It's true that when little ones are ill they usually want mum, but equally they can be just as well looked after by dad. Like you said, you're perfectly capable of administering Calpol every 4 hours.

If you believe that this may become a sticking point in the future, it might be worth asking for a clause to be written in saying that if little one is poorly, that if it's with a mild illness only requiring rest and medicine, she can still have contact as you're more than able to care for her. I'm sure most small children, once positioned on the sofa with duvet, toys and DVD's will be happy wherever they are.

It would be nice to take her a Get Well card too, and maybe a little treat like a cuddly toy (Beanie Babies are perfect for small hands to cuddle), which will serve as a constant reminder of daddy when she's ill, and of course all the time!

thanks for all your replies and advice, much appreciated.