Re:Help - Stopped contact now!

Thank you.

Do you mean to say the fact she completely disrupted their lives for about 4 weeks then applied to the CSA and continued to disrupt their lives even more shouldn't be mentioned?

There is a clear financial motive as opposed to what is best for the children motive.

The support I get from this site has kept me going at times.

It's all very much appreciated.

Mark,

I think a very short factual timeline reference to the CSA application would suffice. Don't over accentuate details and don't repeat statements. Be clear and concise.

Maybe something like....

****I believe that the reduction in access is not related to the well being or welfare of the children as it coincided with a CSA application with x weeks. There were no issues raised previously****

Well the next stage is a Contested Hearing in Family Proceedings Court in 5 weeks. I've flagged this point with my solicitor and hopefully she'll be able to explain it in the right way. I've also given her a spreadsheet for the number of nights they lived with me every month before and after the application to the CSA.

Just reading that post where they got Shared Residence. I am so hopeful that I can post one like that and I know the kids want it as much as I do.

Ex is sure it is not going to be granted and has even told family members she can't wait to rub my face in it afterwards. It's such a shame that she feels like that. I am not going for Residence...it's Shared Residence...and because that's what the children want!

Mwahppet wrote:

****I believe that the reduction in access is not related to the well being or welfare of the children as it coincided with a CSA application with x weeks. There were no issues raised previously****

My ex even admitted to me a reduction in CSA payments was the reason or most of the reason she doesnt want to give me the same nights as I had before.
Trouble is I can't prove it.

There is nothing that winds me up more than children being used as "cash cows". I'd say most fathers with substantial contact on average willingly pay more in child support than if they were forced to go through th CSA.

dadanon wrote:
There is nothing that winds me up more than children being used as "cash cows". I'd say most fathers with substantial contact on average willingly pay more in child support than if they were forced to go through th CSA.

I know, me too. This woman is hurting her children for money. It is sickening. Mark - the sequence of events around the CSA application is so blatant that surely you won't need to emphasise it that much!

Hi

I have had a bad night tonight. To keep the contact with my kids until this is sorted a typical day may mean I drive to ex's and pick them up for school, take them to school and drive back home. At home time I pick them up from school again and drive them home and look after them and feed them. After 7 I then take back to hers so they can sleep there. I am tired of it and they just want to chill and be able to get into bed as well.

Tonight I picked my son up and took him to football. After football I brought him home with me for hot chocolate and cookie (we've always done that). Again at bed time I take him along to sleep there.

I am very tired with this routine. The children are tired as well as it is a lot of going backwards and forwards when they used to just sleep at home with me after school, or football, etc.

I asked ex to wash him tonight - getting bigger and smellier after football!!!
She went into a tirade of texts which basically ended with her saying the routine since Dec is a good one and that if I can't cope she'll take him to football.

I tried to explain it was tiring for the kids and they are not happy with this routine and she said for me to 'leave them alonea nd stop lookin for self pity'.
Me...leave them alone and looking for pity...after all I do and she just cahnges and changes their routine...

Am I doing the right thing bending over backwards to keep the contact and see them so much until the hearing?

And god please tell me - nobody in their right mind is going to expect this crazy routine to continue, are they?

Ex seems so arrogant and confident that what she is doing is right and is 'the way' now. I am so worried again. I know nobody can say what the outcome will be here but is there somebody with 'experience' who can give any guiding words?

I feel I have another restless night ahead!!!

Mark