Re:picking up from school, ideas please

she has no reason to be there as i have asked her to pick him up on my own.

she said it makes no difference so i wont stop coming to see you picking him up. she also said i have to see him every day.

not normal if you ask me.

no reason i think.
i have asked her...can i pick him up on my own as its my time with him, she replied, i will not stop because it makes no difference and i have to see him.

i think it does make a difference but she refuses to stop coming to see him when i collect him.

this is why i think he might be confused as to who he has to go with.

he knows when i go to get him that its his day to come with me, as he wants me to pick him up.

i will give it another week and if he refuses to come with me i will ask the ex to drop him off on my days and stop picking him up from school as the ex refuses to saty away when i pick him up.

the contact order in sept 09 states that we sort things and agree things ourselves.

its clear that she doesnt communicate with me properly and if i discuss anything and she either doesnt like it or get her own way, we simply cant see eye to eye and come to some sort of middle ground.

i have asked for her to go to mediation 3 times and she has refused.

Chatsworth, how long are you going to let your ex stand there and ebb away at your relationship with your son.

Of course he is confused, she is allowing him to choose at times when the choice should not be his. How awful for a child to be faced with having to choose one parent or the other.

Imagine being your son and standing in that playground and seeing both parents and he needs to choose one to go home with. Does he choose dad who he sees very little of and knows that he wont kick up a fuss if he doesnt go with him, or mum who he sees every day and knows she will be sad and really doesn't want him to go, emotionally for you son it is easier to go with mum.

Stop messing around, take this back to court get a defined court order and start parenting your son. He needs you!

I assume there is no Court Order?

Unless of course your son doesn't like being kissed in front of everyone, it would be better and less confusing for him if there were clear arrangements in relation to which days you picked him up from school.

Seeing both parents there is putting your son in the middle and making him choose. It also could put you in a position where, without realising, you could be accused of causing a scene.

If only one of you were there your son would have no "options" nor feel torn between both parents. It's a no brainer!

Inadvertently even your "body language" could be misinterpreted by your son, ex and other parents.

You say your ex claims it is your son's choice. This is such a fob off. As if any reasonable parent would allow their child to decide on "life issues". How absurd.

I'd be very careful because what starts as an issue outside the school gates can very easily snowball into something very different.