Increase contact + shared residence

Brief History:

4 Contact Orders from 2008-2010, current order been in place for 2 years (son was 3 then). This includes: 3 weeks holiday, weekly mid-week overnight contact and alternate weekends fri-sun.

After 2 years and a full year of settling into school i want to increase holidays and extend my alternatve weekends from sun evening to mon morning.

Only ever achieved increase through court, ex will not even discuss the prospect of an increase.

Question is (a) what is the likelyhood and also my key arguments for the extension and (b) current 120 nights a year, proposing 150 nights per year, is this justificatio to apply for shared residence as the reality of the arrangements is SR (she currently has Residence by consent as i was adviced to do so in 2008 in order for her to discuss contact in mediation).

Any advice, case law, etc much appreciated.

Kind Regards,

EF

Focus on your son. BEar in mind that the court has to make a decision basd on what is in his best interests, so your arguments need to focus on that as well.

Take a look at the Welfare Checklist and use that a a guide to the sort of things to consider.

For instance: -

Do you currently collect your son direct from school on a Friday? Achool Friday to School Monday is less of a 'leap' than if you are picking him up later.

Are you already involved with his school? Do you go to parent's evenings, have you arranged to receive duplicae school reports etc.

what is your work pattern? Do you have practial arrangements in mind for making sure you are free to do the school run?

Are there any curent problems which your ex may bring up If so, try to address them first (for instance, making sure your son's school clothes are washed and go back afte the weekend, that he does any reaing or othr school work when he is with you, that you are demonstrably reliable and good at time keeping)

I don't think that an extension from Fri-Sun to Fri-Mon is unreasonable, assuming that the practicalities work (such as you being close to your son's school so the change doesn't mean he suddenly has a much longer trip to get to school, or anything of that kind)

one thing which I would raise, however, is the issue of the impact which going back to court again will have on your son. It is understandable that you want to spend more time with him, and as I hve said, I think that it is also (all things being equal) entirely reasonable, but do consider whether there will be a negative impact of him if you & his mum start fighting over contact again, and whether the benefits he will get from the change in contact are worth subjecting him to that.

Holidays - normally 50% of holidays (or the maximum holiday you can have from work, if that is lower) would be reasonable. School holidays work out to be around 13 weeks a year, so anythign up to 6 1/2 weeks total (provided that you could be available, not putting your son with other carers) would be reasonable.

I would suggest that you think about specific proposals - do you see each holiday as being slit, how do you see half terms being divided etc so that you have firm, workable proposals to put forward (remembering that you will need to be flexible too)

Even though you don't think your ex will discuss it, it would also be sensible to make a referral for mediation to try to get her talking.

So far as the Shared Residence / Residence & Contact Issue is concerned, ask yourself why this is important to you. What do you see as being the benefits to your son? It is easy to get side-tracked into spending a lot of time and energy on trying to get something because you feel it is 'fair' and lose track of the primary issue, which is your son.

Shared Residence is one of those issues where things can vary a lot between different courts. My advice would normally be to focus of the actual time your son has with you, rather than the way it is labelled

A Shared Residence Order is not dependant on any particular split of "night", although the more you have the easier it is to argue your case. I don't have a 50:50 split but enjoy a Shared Residence Order.

You are more likely to have issues with the Sunday to Monday overnight contact because a Judge is more likely, although not always, to take the view that it is in the child's best interests to settle at their "home­base­" on a Sunday evening in order to get things ready for school on the Monday. Of course, it depends on logistics, the child's age, school books, PE kits,etc.

Just scanning through your post, I assume you don't have a Thursday night. If so, then perhaps it would be better to request every Thursday as an additional mid-week overnight contact day which then would extend your alternating weekends from Thursday to Sunday. This way you would increase your monthly nights by 4 instead of 2 only (every other Sunday night).

No doubt your ex will be obstructive. Just make sure you have a robust well thought through proposal.

Also, why not go for half of all school holidays. Usually there are around 12 weeks of school holidays throughout the year? I honestly do not think you would have any problems achieving this.

Little by little chip away and plod on. Tenacity pays!!