Help - Stopped contact now!

Hi All

Many of you ahve supported me with advice over the last few weeks:

I used to live with my childrem close to 50% of the time. Ex put it down to 2 nights and this week wanted me to have 1 night. I tried to meet her, offered mediation, etc.
I then got a solicitor to write her a letter and no response so this week submitted a C100 form for Shared Residence.

Tonight I went to pick them up from school but she took them out of school early saying they had a Drs apointment but sent me a text saying she took them out because I declined to take them back after 1 night.

I now do not know when I will see them again. I had time with my son last night and he is very very sad.

I am also very sad.

- Any advice?
- Can I speed up the court process?
- Is this going to be worse for her in the long run? (they are now missing school and their sports activities I take them to?)
(In other words is it a good thing for the long term outcome for the children?

It's Fri night and no chance to speak to a lawyer.

Any help will be most appreciated.

Mark

Mark I can only sypathise with you right now, what your ex has done is unacceptable, are you in a position to at least have telephone contact. It may be that you have to settle for one night until court and make the clear point you accepted one night as you were not given any other options. I would send your ex a text and agree (albeit very reluctantly) to the one night. You can make it clear that you agree purely as you feel you do not have any alternative at this point. It sdepends how hard you want to dig your heels in. Her behaviour wont be looked on favourably at all. I would also advise the school that they didnt actually have a doctors appointment and put them in the picture as to what is happening.

Sorry mate, looks like you need to get ready to fight .... hard!!

Hi

I have just spoken to my son and ex. She said she took these actions because I won't do what she says, won't agree to one night, etc, and that they cannot sleep at home here at all this week.

I am taking my son to football tomorrow but she won't allow him to sleep here. On Sunday night he has a party but she won't let him sleep here like he usuallu does...and I have to go along on Mon morn to take them both to school.

I just want them to have a routine again, which is more or less equal in time.

Will what she has done (taking them out of school early when I was picking them up) count against her?

Whose chidren are they? Yours? Hers? or both of yours?

You must do everything in your power to keep contact with your children. They NEED you.

My ex said if I divorced him he would find it very difficult to see our children (remind him of me, blah blah). Eventually I did divorce him and he stuck to that horrible threat. When he did email or phone, he simply beraated me and yet it was him who cheated and is now living with another woman!

Our chidren are late teens but still miss him and cant understand why he is acting this way.

Why on earth do people use their children as pawns? Child abuse in my opinion and must be stopped!

They are both of ours. Until recently they lived with me 3 or 4 nights a week. Now 0!

Mark I'm a few weeks ahead of you.I had to put up with loads of crap and then I reached breaking point so put in my C100 for SR.
Should have done it yonks ago.
I'm now down to having my son only for 9 hours evert Sat and thats it.By the time I go to court next week I would have seen him 4 times in 6 weeks.
You know what though,what gets you through it is knowing you have that court date after which you should get legal access after which its a big two fingers up to her.
Screw with my contact and your ass will be right back in court.
After a few weeks Ive also got a little use to access getting down to once per week although the initial decline was hard to take.
I'm assuming you have your court date which is maybe 5/6 weeks away and that will fly past.Also its not like you're not seeing your children in the meantime.
Don't waste your time and energy fighting with her.Put it into your court case and make sure you're well prepared.

I am just going to wish both of you the very best of luck with your cases, Im a mum who has an ex like sillywoman who just doesnt really give a toss - my partners the opposite and has been fighting since Feb to see his daughter who up to that point he had her over 50% of the time.

I will say - be prepared though, as he thought it would be really clear cut when he got to court but it was adjourned because she suddenly accused him of a random act of violence and said she felt their daughter "may" have witnessed it - (never happened btw)- and it was adjourned for 14 weeks, and was recently adjourned again to wait for CAFCASS.

My partners solicitor was rubbish and he is now going it alone, so please do convince that judge that your contact and or shared residency needs to be put in place asap.

The very best of luck

Em