Some good news.... and a message for all

It should be a lot easier Joe, but will it be? I see no sign of that happening while the system permits such cases and feeds them with legal aid. The system exists for its own ends (I mean people make a living from it) so there is no incentive within it to reform; where will the impetus come from? My ex is selective with my access but I get it and I count my blessings.

TEFKAS wrote:
It should be a lot easier Joe, but will it be? I see no sign of that happening while the system permits such cases and feeds them with legal aid. The system exists for its own ends (I mean people make a living from it) so there is no incentive within it to reform; where will the impetus come from? My ex is selective with my access but I get it and I count my blessings.

My case £15,000 in legal aid and counting

oh .my goodness me ,warn you sons before they get married what that signiture could mean

Glad that you've got the access you so obviously want. and have worked hard for.
I have a different scenario to yours (apologies for the threadjack. )
You don't mention if your new partner has family of her own to add to your family-if so, do they live with you?
My situation is different as my ex H is raising my 10 yr old's former best friend ,with his new partner.
Long story short, he was a Headteacher who went off with a Teaching Assistant from the village school, where we all worked and the children attended. Nice-eh.
Our daughter/s (and older sons) wanted nothing to do with him or his new set-up.
Our youngest(10) has just started seeing him, at my instigation(3 yrs on) BUT she is adamant that she wants no truck with his new family-she is very asute and says, quite rightly IMO that she will spend time with him, and not them, she wants nothing to do with the stepfamily at all-he seems to think this may change but I doubt it- publicly declaring your love for somebody else;s child (not even his)is not guaranteed to forge strong bonds with your natural children.
Our daughter feels rejected and hurt. She copes with it but I don't think she'll ever get over it. Who wants to be placed 2nd after all?
I just wish people would stop and consider the implications of their actions- but then I suppose that's what being selfish is all about!
Yes, I will encourage her to see him- but that's as far as it goes!
He always insisted he had a choice to do as he pleased and now our daughter is exercising the same right.

BIGFOOT600 wrote:
Please let that future be now.

Sorry but personally I think that future will be in time for when our children have their own kids.
I think it will be too late for us.

@Teecher

Hi this is new partner (not so new now) no I have no children of my own, however we have discussed if we are lucky to have children they will all be treated equally, it is something we both feel very strongly about.

I am aware of your situation as my nieces father moved his new family into the old family home and they now have to sleep on the floor when they visit as his step daughters will not share their rooms or beds.

Hi Teecher

My ex has seen one of our 3 children once since he met and moved in with latest girlfriend in over a year and spoke to all 3 of them, the last time he cried on the phone and said "I miss you all" but in the early days he was just nasty and aggressive to them on the phone. He didn't see them, or ask to and hasn't sent xmas presents or a birthday present to our oldest.

At first I phoned and wrote to him to ask him to see them but he was sooooo bitter towards me, he was just a pig.

Our youngest (nearly 17) said if she saw him now she wouldn't know what to say and the older two don't even mention him, although I do try to talk about good times we used tohave as a family and all the good things he did for them when we were married. One of them did say they missed him at xmas. But I think it was more they missed not haaving as much money spent on them!

They have absolutely no respect for him whatsoever and see him as a weak man, as they saw him come and go with various women when we were married and begging and crying forgiveness and although I hope that one day they can have a relationship with him, afterall he is their father, I seriously am not holding my breath.