SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!

Why? Why is she such a useless, pathetic excuse for a human being???

Hubby just took SD home, and went to the door to ask her mother if she'd had a chance to look over the list of contact dates he gave her in Court on Tuesday. As you all know, the Judge said she had until today to look over them. Anyway, she was half cut and said 'I'm not agreeing to anything. You are unreasonable in what you're asking'. Hubby said 'I've only put down for half the holidays, which is what I am entitled to'. She said 'so am I, and you're asking for too much'. He said 'so you're not agreeing to any of them then' to which she replied that she is not. He walked away and said 'I'm not talking to you whilst you're pissed. I only want what's right and what's been ordered from the Court', and she shouted after him again that it's unreasonable.

So, what the hell do we do now?

glad you took the salt the other night then?

what did the judge say on the day about dates if nothing could be agreed?

Assume H will have to attend yet another hearing over this most likely.

Very glad RP, but I know what she's like.

The Judge told her she had until Sunday to look at the dates because she has to respect that my husband works and needs to book up his leave for the year. He told her it needs to be agreed amicably, and pointed out to her that as she's not working, it's important she lets my husband know any dates she doesn't agree to, so alternatives can be worked out in advance. It would seem that she doesn't agree to the amount of time he's requesting rather than the actual dates however. He's only put down for half of all the holidays, and during the summer holidays, which are 27 school days, she actually gets 14 and he gets 13, so she does slightly better. This is the first year, in 9, that he's had a whole year of half holiday contact, and that's probably why she's ­object­ing. She told him he's asked for too much. She tried all that in Court though, saying she only has her children together every other weekend, and the Judge slammed her for it and said 'so do thousands of other women, and you have them all week. You have to realise that he (pointed at my husband) ONLY sees his daughter ONCE a fortnight'. Seems she's completely forgotten what the Judge said.

We'll work out a text to send her when he gets back, and will point out that he's got an Order now which says he can 'restore within 3 months' which we think means he can go back to Court without paying another for another application. Might work, might not, but seeing as half term is in a couple of weeks, and hubby hasn't booked time off yet it would be polite of her to let him know whether he can have the first part of the week or the second part.

Does anyone know if the Court would accept a letter from my husband outlining the problem, and whether they would act on it?

Well, hubby arrived home and almost as soon as he walked through the door she rang. He put her on loud speaker. She said that he was harrassing her wanting the dates agreed, because she hadn't had time to look at them. He reminded her what the Judge said about respecting he needs to book time off, and she said she couldn't agree to the dates although she hasn't got anything planned throughout the year. She kept on going on and on about making sure BOTH her children are happy, and that they spend time together. Hubby said she needs to organise whether she wants the kids away from her at the same time or separately (reminding her the boy's dad has half holidays too). But, she just kept on saying he was unreasonable and that she refuses to discuss it with me in the room!!! Hubby said I wasn't there, so she said she'll ring him at work to discuss it. He told her not to call him at work, and said he didn't really want to speak to her at all because she doesn't listen and is so resistant to everything. He told her to look at the dates, and if there are any that she doesn't agree with to write to him with those dates and he will work out alternatives. But, she ranted on and on about having to have both her children together, and that's it's unfair on her to have them away from her for half the holidays. He said 'it's all about you then, what YOU want, and not what's best for our daughter'. She mumbled something (she did sound quite drunk, slurring her words) and then started shouting again. He asked if SD was there, and she said she was, so he told her she shouldn't be shouting down the phone at him with her in the room and said he was ending the call and hung up.

Followed up the phone call with a very polite text asking her to respect that he is already late in booking his annual leave and needs to know this week if there are any dates she doesn't agree to. However, because half term is next week, he put that he will be collecting SD on Wednesday 17th in the evening, as set out in the list as he has to book those days off tomorrow. He also said 'me and D only want our rightful time together, you must understand and respect that'.

Give me strength!

Why am I not surprised? Didn't take her long to go back to her old ways did it?

I'd send another copy of the dates, recorded delivery, and give her 7 days from receipt of the letter to agree/suggest alternative dates. Warn her in the letter that if she refuses to comply with what was agreed in court and arange the dates then you will return to court and ask the judge to decide the dates.

I'd also warn her that this time you'll be seeking costs from her. You might not get them (not sure how it works), but the threat of it might be enough to make her behave (how would she afford her alcohol?!)

If she still won't agree what has been ordered of her then I'd take her straight back to court. Get it sorted asap - she's GOT to learn that this is non-negotiable.

Hope you had a lovely weekend with SD. So sorry that mum has soured things yet again. What a woman. xx

To be honest we did think she might last a little longer than she has with being difficult again. Perhaps having the boy's dad having half holidays now too has upset the applecart more than we imagined. She probably feels got at from all angles, but you reap what you sow don't you? If she had been reasonable from the outset, she would never have gone to Court, so live and learn lady.

We really believe that her brain is so addled that she simply doesn't comprehend it all. Tough. Maybe she'll learn from CS or a fine. And, if she doesn't and continues to breach, thwart, frustrate and refuse to agree contact then maybe the Courts will do the ultimate and transfer residency.

She's got the dates, said she had them so there's no need to send them again. She also said she didn't have anything planned all year, so there's no reason why she can't agree to them. All they are is exactly half of the school holidays, plus weekends, no more, no less (apart from one less day in the school holidays than she has). It's hardly rocket science, she's just being difficult.

We're going to write to the Court tomorrow, and send the dates and request that they're added to the order. I wonder if that will be allowed?

One thing .. the Judge said that they should try to be amicable about things, but could see that she was obstructing him and my husband by repeating herself constantly about him going back on their agreement at Christmas. He had to keep on saying to her, over and over, that she mustn't organise things in hubby's time, and she must respect he has to book leave from work so has to let him know about the dates by today. Could my husband therefore ask the Court to include the dates in the Order, defined, if he hasn't heard from her by the end of the week say? How much time would they expect him to give her, bearing in mind she doesn't work and has no holidays or anything planned? Because of the Order received on Friday which states that he has the liberty to restore within 3 months then he can go back to Court without paying a fee within that time. We're assuming she got sent a similar thing too, but she probably doesn't understand it (as we didn't in entirety).

We know the Judge wanted them to be amicable, but that's never happened in the past and therefore is unlikely to happen now, tonight being a prime example. My husband really doesn't want to communicate with her verbally at all anymore, and would rather keep communications to letters (she hasn't got email). Would a Judge consider him to be unreasonable with that?