how are people coping after seperation emotionally

Hi Toto

Avoiding the pain is impossible, I'm afraid.

As you say, we all make our own choices. I took ADs because my son couldn't cope with me crying most of the time.

They didn't make me happy, but they did enable me to function enough to change things and to believe it would get better. I was only on a low dose and the ones I had also had the benefit of taking away the pain from my sciatica. I would no more hesitate to take ADs because I was depressed, than I would take aspirin for a headache.

Anyway, you sound as though you have the right idea - going for a walk is very therapeutic. It gives you a change of scene, gets the endorphins going and gives a bit of structure to your day.

Best wishes

I have been 'on my own' but with 2 grown up kids for 18 mths now, divorced for 5 mths. My daughter moved out just 2 wks ago and it was another knock that was hard to adjust to. There have been little milestones along the way, lots of hurdles that have been a struggle but overall I can see a definite improvement in me and a love for the independence I now have. It comes at unexpected moments - like this morning when I sat for ages in my dressing gown & didn't bother getting dressed for 2 hours. I thought - hell - I can please myself! I love being able to make my OWN choices.
I have also only recently stopped the ADs altogether & realise I no longer need them. I know when my last son leaves it will be very hard - but I don't think he's in a rush at the moment - he's 28 but does his own thing.
It is a long way since the dark night when I took 4 valium, a bottle of wine and fell out of bed in a stupor & son had to pick me up off the floor!
There is no easy way. We each blindly grope out way forward.
xx

there is a lot of us not coping i lost my beloved partner before christmas and my dog i went and got a new dog for company and i think it has saved my life but my partner is irreplaceable it is lonely even when you are with people i can't do the same things anymore i go to bed when i am exhausted could be 3 or 4 o clock in the morning i can't read or watch the telly as i can't seem to concentrate on anything so you are not alone in grief i would not wish this pain on anyone hazel

I'm not coping to well either it was my decision to leave my marriage but the stbx is very bitter and I keep finding myself crying alone in my bedroom at my mums. I left wanting a better life i say my marriage was in trouble the stbx thought it was okay, but it's turning into a nightmare I've no money I'm struggling to cope the wife wants everything I know I did something's wrong but when you feel like I did its so easy to go on the mobile or pc I was addicted to them. Anyway I still go on but find myself looking at pages I never ever thought I would look at I'm at a really low places at the moment due to the stbx I understand her anger but there not much more I can take of it.........

Hi all,

my heart goes out to you it really does,i was left and still am in hell 10months on from seperation. Was totally cleaned out financially speaking and now the otherside of 50 to match living in a 1 bed crap hole.

Its not been easy, and totally compounded by being out of work 2yrs + now.Its really hard to find acceptance when you feel your life has gone down the toilet and all what you loved with it. Much easier to bounce back if you havent been financially and emotionally wiped out. The cliche of times a healer, works for some and not others as time goes by differently for us all.

Just hope and pray things will eventually pick up as all this is now impacting on my health.