Abusive mobile text messages from ex

Hi all

I need to use form C79 to enforce a broken contact order.

I would like to make some changes to contact order: my ex-wife sends me abusive text messages. I have a whole collection on my phone. Can I ask that she only text me ONLY over the children with an ­object­ive text to me ?

My ex has also been texting my partner trying to cause trouble between me and my partner.

Or do I have to pursue another route.

Thank you
Keith

what changes would you like to see to the order? Would you like substantive changes to the terms of contact?

Technically speaking, a C79 is only used to enforce contact, not amend the terms of the order, but that shouldn't cause too many problems, as many Judges will tweek an order during enforcement proceedings, if its needed for the smooth running for contact.

As for the texts, you certainly can ask for them only to be child related. There are a number of options. You could ask the police to investigate (blunt instrument) or you can raise it at court. Ultimately, the court could accept an "undertaking" from your ex (a formal promise not to do something, which, if broken, can be enforced by the court with imprisonment). If it got really bad, you could apply for a non-molestation injunction under section 42 of the Family Law Act 1996.

Please note though that undertakings and a FLA injunction can only protect you, not your new partner, from your ex's behaviour.

I agree with FamilyBarrister - however, I would also ask what (if any) steps you've already taken?

I would normally, before applying to court, look at sending a letter to your ex specifically aying that you find the texts inappropriate and abusive and consider them to be harassment.

Specifically request that she text ONLY in relation to the children and state explicitly that you will consider any texts which are abusive or which do not relate solely to the children as being harassment, and will if necessary take steps to address this, whether by returning to court and/or logging the isue with the polie as harassment.

I would recommend that you download and print the texts in question.

On a practical level, I would recommend that you do not reply to any text unless it is directly child-related (It's becomes much less interesting for your ex if she doesn't think she's getting to you, and additionally, if you don't reply,she can't then accuse YOU of abusive behaviour!)

So far as your partner is converned, is there any reason why she cannot simply block your ex's number? If your ex has your number for child related texts, there seems no reason why she should need your partner's at all.

Of course, your partner could, if she wishes, log the texts or messages she is getting with the police as harassment and go down that route, but simply blocking the number is likely to be much quicker, pretty effective and avoids causing major problems which could then rebound onto your children.

I would normally, before applying to court, look at sending a letter to your ex specifically aying that you find the texts inappropriate and abusive and consider them to be harassment.
Keith> I have sent her text messages asking her not to be abusive as she can deny receiving a letter and I dont want her leaving it lying around for kids to read.

Specifically request that she text ONLY in relation to the children and state explicitly that you will consider any texts which are abusive or which do not relate solely to the children as being harassment, and will if necessary take steps to address this, whether by returning to court and/or logging the isue with the polie as harassment.
Keith> I have asked her to be factual and specific. Sadly I will probably log it with the police - I say sadly because I know the ex will involve the kids in this


I would recommend that you download and print the texts in question.
Keith> Yep did that last week


On a practical level, I would recommend that you do not reply to any text unless it is directly child-related (It's becomes much less interesting for your ex if she doesn't think she's getting to you, and additionally, if you don't reply,she can't then accuse YOU of abusive behaviour!)
Keith> Good advice. I learnt by experience to ignore 90% of the barrage - I just hate having to read it to find the factual information


So far as your partner is converned, is there any reason why she cannot simply block your ex's number? If your ex has your number for child related texts, there seems no reason why she should need your partner's at all.
Keith> I have looked into this. Her mobile phone does not allow numbers to be blocked. We will have to go to the mobile network operator and/or the police.


Of course, your partner could, if she wishes, log the texts or messages she is getting with the police as harassment and go down that route, but simply blocking the number is likely to be much quicker, pretty effective and avoids causing major problems which could then rebound onto your children.
Keith> Currently my partner has deleted them as she does not, emotionally, want her phone contaminated. We will try network operator first.

Thank you for your time and consideration to me. Keith