Meeting in the Middle

but who did the caring prior to separation? We understand you would like to do your fair share now and are struggling to be allowed to do that, but how was the situation prior to separating?

I hear what you are saying but the courts deal with facts and evidence, in particular the nature of relationships during parents relationship and the actual established pattern of childcare/work. If you have a history of substantial involvement with the "nuts and bolts" of parenting (taking children to school, doctors etc, doing their washing, cooking, cleaning, shopping, homework) there is no reason why substantial shared care shouldn't continue although not necessarily 50:50. As jonathan said much will depend on CAFCASS recommendations.

You won't just see your children when your ex decides but the trick is to be realistic, prepared to compromise and if possible find a way for her to save face. If you and the mother can agree arrangements between you anytime the court can turn the agreement into a consent order. Ultimately if no agreement can be reached the judge will impose an arrangement but that can lead to resentment and resistance by at least one party and often neither party is satisfied.