Re:I've heard it all now...how pathetic...what a joke

Thanks GMS, in fact that has made me well up. Bit emotional today. Everything all seems to come at once. I know in a few days and once I have done all this legal prep too, I will be able to laugh again. But right now I feel drained and really low.
Sometimes I just feel like giving up. I've so had enough...

Anyway thanks GMS and hugs back ((( ))) as I think I read on another post that you too have final approcahing. You and and Munchkin will have to liase.

Survive
x

Thanks, really need the hugs!!

Yes it seems a few of us are coming to the (financial) end. I am finding it very stressful tbh along with coping with the kids alone, working and studying.

I have to say I have given up asking my ex to contribute for anything (including private medical bills for one child!) as it's such a hassle and he uses it as an excuse to be vile to me and to get me to beg. He usually 'considers' it then after much abuse I get 'that's why I pay you CM'. It sucks and I find it soul destroying.

I don't think it does end - I think we just reach a point where we give up trying.

GMS

Hiya Survive and Gotmysmile - just a tip with final hearings coming up, my barrister was adamant that there should be no clean break and even if nominal, spousal maintenance has to be put in the order. He said (in a roundabout way) that the financial order was being made with me in receipt of tax credits and child benefit etc, and we had to consider the possiblity that once of out of court he would try, on the basis of shared residence, to claim some of the child benefit and stop my tax credits. Hopefully, the judge took these comments on board and will include in his order.

I truly thought nobody was of the same ilk of my ex but it seems there is a few of them out there ......... and that is truly shocking. One in the world is bad enough, but seems like there is a whole army of them !

x

Hi Survive
Also heading for final hearing stbx takes money from my maintenance to pay his bills!
Takes our daughter to the theatre and buys her expensive presents, claiming to be poverty stricken and ranting that I am spending too much money!
Everything belongs to him, he refuses to negotiate and thinks he can bully me into giving up.
Without him I know it's not me, I am not a crazy person, or insecure, or complicated or over sensitive !
Final hearing estimate at £45k, already spent £51k, and all because he thinks ranting is the way to solve things.
I don't think he will ever learn that bullying doesn't work when the target loses their fear.
Perhaps the judge will put him straight? Or perhaps just put him in a straight jacket!
Stay strong, don't let him get to you.
(((((((((((((()))))))))))))Tink x

Well do you know what. I have decided to forego the trip. Under advice. At the end of the day it is not the end of the world.... I will not be given a set of demands from stbx that he will allow me to go under the following conditions: the most ridiculous one being that I would agree to pay for all of the childrens activities in the future (which I do) but including the ones that are paid weekly, so when they are with him. Oh and not forgetting that he would like to have the children at any weekend which suits him...

Do you know what, it is not worth it, being hed to ransom. Even though I have in writing that I could take the children.

So, as my advisor said, take control back, and just politely decline, there are so many restrictions on this trip, that I will do something separate with the children and avoid all this hassle.

So UP YOURS STBX!!!!!!!!!!

Survive
x