Re:Position statement

Annie

I do feel for you. Your ex is a long way from the man you married ... and as you have explained before, his condition is a direct result of his own actions.

Ultimately this is about your daughter's right to see her father - and not about anyone's "right" to see her. I really hope she is listened to - and also that even if contact does not happen you are able to share with her the happier memories you must have from before all this happened.

Hadenoughnow

Make sure you let CAFCASS know the complicated situation. I went into court on Wednesday, representing myself, and blew CAFCASS and my ex's experienced legal team out of the water by backing up everything I said with evidence - I had police records and GP statements. Everyone's perceptions of this case changed especially CAFCASS who are there for the emotional well being of the children.

He was applying for direct contact - it has now gone right back to 2 sessions of indirect contact with CAFCASS and no pressure for my sons to respond!!

Highlight at all times how this is affecting your daughter and as her mother said how it upsets you and her.

Hi thanks for all the good advice.I am so glad that you got the result that your children wanted. I have all the emails of cancelled visits from grandparents, texts from the school and a supporting letter from the family liaison officer. I have contacted NYAS and they have agreed to represent my daughter if the case is dragged on after this hearing.I am just hoping she gets some closure at least as far as this case goes. As I explained to her teacher who said she had to deal with a child whose father had died, daughter lost the father she loved when we were on an outing and he collapsed in front of us. She has not had the chance to grieve as she is expected to accept this demanding confusing person as her father when he is nothing like the one she loved.
She used to have photos of him in her room, since the pressure started from his family she has put them in the back of her wardrobe. She used to talk about how he was before with pride, since she was ordered to see him she says she wishes he was dead.

Hi
I am hoping for some quick advice please. I have received a copy of a letter to the courts from grandparents asking that the court date be vacated to a later date as they are off to their villa in sunny climes the next day. The flight is at 10 am so they do not want to travel 5-6 hours the day before! The whole basis of their application is that they expect my daughter to travel 11 hours over a weekend, with a 5-6 hour journey with school the next day.
HOW DARE THEY!!
Will they get away with this?
I have spent the evening scanning copies of solicitors letters where they state they are on a low income, expect my daughter to do this riduculous journey, etc.
Also I lose a days pay every time i go to court. This date falls in the holidays so i do not have to book time off. Is it acceptable for me to ­object­ to the change on these grounds?
Will it be seen as squabbling?
I would be very grateful for advice
thanks in advance. I want to post letter off as soon as possible as they left it a few days, as ususal to inform me.

When is your hearing? Surely they knew when they got the court date that they were going off on holiday? I think if they were away then that might be considered, but not just because they are away the day after?
Sorry Im probably not much help but Id be annoyed too if i were you!

Thanks for your reply. The court date is in a week. I was really hoping to have this over with as Daughter is a keen to have things sorted definitely so that she knows where she stands.
The courts are very busy, so if it is deferred it probably won't be heard until May.
Surely expecting court dates to be changed for their convenience will be seen in a bad light?
It is just typical of their selfish behaviour. They told daughter that they could not afford to get her a decent christmas present but fly off to their villa in Portugal 2-3 times a year.
The letter from their solicitor that I copied to the judge includes a request that I pay towards their travel costs as they are on a low income. They applied to have my daughter doing an 11 hour return journey over a weekend every month but when the courts recommended they visit every month to get to know her they asked to visit every 6 weeks due to the expense!!
They are pathologically selfish.I hope sending my ­object­ions to the judge was not a bad idea.

Hearing today, Went in armed with the emails from grandparents cancelling visits, letter from school and daughter but Grandma insisted that we had cancelled visits, that the dismal meetings in museum cellar were a 'joy for both father and daughter'. ­object­ed to my having a friend in court and then insisted on having both her son and husband, I did not ­object­, being a reasonable person.
She called me a liar, insisted no-one 'on their side' had spoken to cafcass ( her statement is in the report!)
Their inexperienced barrister seemed really out of his depth so I insisted on him reading all the emails from them cancelling visits and asked him if he was enjoying representing them.
Despite my having stuck to the order and them doing exactly as they please the process chugs relentlessly on.
Another cafcass report, I don't want to tell daughter as she feels she was not listened to last time.
Cafcass to speak to school and also he/she will be at hearing.
Judge would not grant guardian as he said i am representing my daughter well but i am dreading a whole day in court.
at least grandparents are barred from visits and there are only 2 visits before next hearing though daughter can't have friend along and they will be at their choice of venue. How I will get her to agree to go I do not know!
They tried to sneak a change of judge into the order that their barrister drafted and judge got really angry and said ' I can see what is really going on here Ms__. If he does why do we have to go to full hearing?
What if I get Pollyanna cafcass officer who will comment on extreme anger towards me from grandparents then recommend we all meet up and play happy families again like the last one did. I can't face being in the same room as them, listening to their lies then being called a liar even when I have concrete evidence to back up what I am saying?
Judge has reserved full day for hearing does that mean witnesses will be called? Why is Cafcass officer going to be there?
I have an awful feeling even if we get through this day they will drag it straight back to court until I give in and let them have control of my daughter.
Grandmother now wants to take over as litigant friend Can I ­object­ and ask for an independent person to be his litigant friend? Do I get any say in this? If it was my ex and me we would not be in this situation. I even showed an email that he got someone to type which makes it obvious that we get on though they said out in court that we do not.