Separated Parent Information Programme
If you are separating or
divorcing and you have made an application to the court to sort out living
arrangements for your children the court may have ordered you to attend a
Separated Parent Information Programme (SPIP). You may feel reluctant to
attend. You may want to know more what is involved.
Attending a SPIP
will give you the opportunity to meet other people in conflict with their
ex-partners over arrangements for the children and give you the opportunity
to hear from two experienced trainers, often mediators, about the impact of
divorce and
separation on children and
to discuss ideas to help reduce conflict and improve communication between
you and your ex-partner. Research has shown the separation doesn't have to
harm children if it is handled well; it is conflict that has a negative
effect.
You will watch a DVD made by children, following a family
through a
separation. The DVD focuses
on what children feel as their parents separate and what they need from
their parents.
There are discussions and tips on how you can try and
communicate better with your former partner, even if they are being very
difficult and do not seem to be cooperating. There are discussions about
the emotional aspects of divorce and
separation, tips on helping
you look after yourself and on how you can move forward, putting the past
behind you.
Parents are sometimes reluctant to attend but most parents
who do attend find it a very helpful experience.
Putting the past
conflict as a couple behind you isn't always easy; talking to other parents
in similar situations and hearing from experienced trainers can sometimes
help give you ideas on how to move forward and find ways of working
together as separated parents.
You will learn amongst other things:
1. That you should try not to fight in front of the children or ask them
to choose sides
2. That your children may have different feelings to
yours
3. That you should think about what you can do, not what your
ex-partner should or shouldn't do
4. That you should focus on what has
worked, not on what hasn't worked
5. That small steps can lead to big
changes
6. To look after yourself and be the best parent you can
So if you are ordered to attend a SPIP don't be negative or try and avoid
going; you will hopefully find it a useful and informative day.
Forum 
England and Wales 
