Re:Back at court after not seeing child for 2 years

3 years ago I took my ex partner to court due to the inconsistancy of him seeing his child, it started of with him having visits at my house with me present but he would come one week then miss visits then come again then miss visits, so we went back to court and it was decided to take me out of the picture and for him to have visits at my mothers twice a week again same thing happened he would come and then he wouldn't so on for a number of months, he then moved away and had no contact for 6 months when he returned we ent back to court and it was deided for him to have visis twice a week in a contact center, but again he would go one week miss a few weeks then go, it was also decided whilst he was having contact a contact center a CAFCASS report would be made of which he didnt turn up to his meetings with the CAFCASS officer, when going back to court he didnt turn up for the hearing so the case got dropped. 2 years after all of that and i got sent a solicitors letter stating he wants to see the child again, so we are now going back to court. My question is will the judge see that my ex is just playing games and isnt interested in the childs best interest he jus wants to mess with me and my mind. My child starts school in setember and is very happy and has got a very stable life, of which having my ex partner come back into her life will disrupt everything exspecially when he will just do the same again come and go whenever he pleases surely the inconsitancy of him coming in and out of her life isnt in the best interest of my little girl. I am trying to protect my child from a man that is just playing mind games. Also he has been violent towards me he has stalked me which led to me moving away and also having to get a new job as he waited outside work too, he also threatned to kidnapp the child which meant me having a residence order put in place
Any advice would be very greatful

Courts generally see seeing a parent as important for children's long term security about their identity and usually give children the opportunity to know a natural parent. However, after a long absence it is likely that indirect contact through letters, cards and perhaps email will be introduced before short spells of supervised contact and then gradually building up to a regular pattern of longer periods of unsupervised contact.

If he is playing games the chances are he won't be able to commit and disappear before building up any meaningful relationship, but at least your daughter will know who her father is even though he behaves like an uncle who appears on an ad hoc basis from time to time.

Your ex might even have realised the error of his ways and turned over a new leaf and you would never know without trying.

Fiona is absolutely right. A court has to look at the potential benefits long term to a child, so a past history of being unreliable is not something which would stop contact being considered in your daughter's interests in the future.

However, given the history you have set out I think it is appropriate to be cautious. One option would be to propose indirect contact on the basis of him sending photos, cards and letters on (say) a weekely or fortnightly basis for a period to allow him to demonstate that he is able to make a committment and to be consistent, before moving to any kind of direct contact.

In terms of any direct contact, you can then ask for this to be very clearly defined - one option might be for him to have to confirm, 24 hours before each visit, that he will actually be attending, and to have a clear rule that contact will stop if he fails to attend (you'd ened to allow for genuine emergencies e.g. if he is ill, if supported by doctors note, if he breaks down if supported by an invoice from the garage / tow truck etc)

Also look at ways in which contact can happen (if he gets to the direct contact stage) without it giving him an opportunity to mess with you - e.g. contact at a contact centre, trusted 3rd party such as your mum or a freind taking your daughter and collecting her, all communications in writing and limited solely to issues directly relasted to contact etc so that he can't use it as leverage to try to get involved in your life.