peppapig.com wrote:Thank you
all so much.
It's been impossible to get any information about
what a section 7 will involve until you guys stepped in. How did I ever
survive without this website?!
My eldest son is only 4years and
is reacting badly to the contact with his Dad after
1 year of no contact, directly or
indirectly.
He's fine during contact sessions and the
feedback reports from the centre were good but he is very upset afterwards
(hysterical after the last visit) and night times are really bad with him
screaming and not sleeping. He has become very clingy and dependant, which
has been noticed by his pre-school and is showing some eratic behaviour. I
am documenting everything.
Will CAFCASS take this into account and offer him support or
do they not get that involved?
thanks
peppa xHi again pepa,
This section of your thread has stirred me into
reposting,
After a year of being prevented from seeing my
daughter I finally got regular contact by way of a contact order,
I
would drop my daughter to
school on Mondays and like your son she
was very upset indeed,
So bad in fact that she couldn't go directly to
class.
The school provided a mentor who would spend about half an hour
trying to calm her.
She was so bad that almost every day she would
break down crying in class and be brought to the mentor.
Her
mother said she was upset because of the contact she had with me and a
social worker who had befriended the mother supported her in this and on
returning to court gave a report advising a huge cut in contact time.
I responded with a counter application for shared
residence and asked that
my daughter be assessed by a child psychologist to try to determine why she
was so stressed.
Having done extensive assessments the psychologist
presented his findings to the court.
He found that my daughter
was being bullied by her mother before
contact, being warned not
to tell me anything about her mum.
Then after contact she was made to
sit in front of her mother interrogated and continually slapped on the back
of her hands when her answers didn't suit her mother.
She was
forcefully coached as to what to tell her school and the social worker.
This all came out in the report.
So what the psych said when
in the dock was,
"This little girl is under serious pressure and I am
very concerned for her welfare.
Her mother must be persuaded to stop
putting her under such strain before and after contact with the father.
She has told me that the thing she looks forward to most is being with
her father.
She has said that the reason she is upset at school after
contact is because she knows she will not see her father for two more
weeks.
I am of the opinion that the main reason this child is
suffering is because she does not see her father often enough."
As a direct result of this report I was awarded shared
residence, midweekly
staying contact every week extended weekend contact and half of all school
holidays.
The social worker was ripped to bits for her biased reports
and after I made an official complaint lost her job.
Now peppa
what I'm trying to get at here is,
As you say he is fine during
contact, so that indicated there are no problems with his father,
The
fact that he is not upset before contact reinforces this.
Upset
after contact would indicate to me (and most likely others too)that the
reason for this upset is that the contact ended and he wants to be with his
dad more.
You see, having spent nearly five years both in the court
system and dealing online with parents having gone through very similar
situations that you have I am of the opinion that in the main children will
still have a very very strong bond with even an abusive parent.
I may be wrong of course as I am not a professional but it is something
to consider.
In spite of everything that happened this little boy may
love his dad to bits and may not show it so obviously to you as he may even
at this early age sense the devide between you.
The thing is,
If it was just contact with his father that was making him so upset I am
sure you would have to drag him into the contact centre kicking and
screaming and after contact the upset would quickly sibside.
This
seems to be the opposite.