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Dear Mr Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing the
UK's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that
will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the
following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement
Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work
force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement
with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten
million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new
British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing
Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to
school/college/university - Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy
£100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back
in duty/tax etc
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you
think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also...........
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals
in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to
showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free
prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and
they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have
constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell,
or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and
all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would
check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their
cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that
purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room,
spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing,
shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with
gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone
calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints,
and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered
to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone for
hours sitting in there own urine and unsupervised. Lights off at 5pm, and
showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have
no hope of ever getting out.
Also;
Think about this ... If
you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE
PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak
up!
Supercali xx
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England and Wales 
