What would YOU change if you could?

Just thought of another point -

What about having to submit all financial information and verification documents to an independent person/body who would review and confirm authenticity and ensure all information collated and then submit to both side's legal teams so that delays did not occur and the info that was submitted to Court was known to be in order and a correct account of financial circs?

Love all your ideas Weeme.

Keep em coming guys!

Hi Amanda

Just read this thread, it is so interesting and a fab idea to get the important information.

When some couples split up things get sorted out amicably and both parties are sensible, they obviously have good foresight.

For the rest it can be traumatic and there is a lot of dispute over many things.

Childrens' emotional and financial stability should be the first concern, closely followed (if not coupled with) what happens to the financial arrangements between both parties.

Mediation over contact and residency is a good idea, if who has the kids and when is arguable, then there definately needs to be something in place to get that sorted right at the start for the kids sakes.

With regards to AR, let's face it how many on here are having to pay a lot of money just to get the money they are legally entitled to anyway? How many run up solicitors' bills and use up any equity they had in their FMH, or got into debt just to get fair play?

Bearing in mind the trauma of a break up can last quite a while. Becoming emotionally settled, as we see here on Wiki, takes time, being advised to petition for divorce as soon as one is on ones' own, adds to the trauma. I know that this is done to safeguard ones' financial status to some extent, and to get financial help one has to petition and apply for MPS. But as divorce can be quite a big step to take, the one who has been dumped really could do with some time before going through the trauma of petitioning and finalizing. Maybe have a 'petition pending' agreement rather than MPS. There should be marriage laws in place to protect people aginst hardship upon separation, it is very unfair for one person to just up and leave the remaining party to cope, quite often while they go off to have fun taking holidays and buying new cars etc., I have read that so much on here, it really isn't right that people can get away with it.

So your solicitor refers you to the bank, both must attend. You automatically have a separation bank account with separation financial advisors. Proof of where you are living and suchlike is already a must for the banks anyway, so they are best equipt to deal with such matters, and they are free! Priority bills are a must, then the rest is amalgamated and shared into sub-accounts.

Then solicitors and lawyers could deal with the long term stuff, division of assets and residency ready for the judge to pass judgement on.

I guess it sounds simple and idealistic, but bring out new marriage laws to be abided by upon separation. Kind of 'petition pending' laws.

Definately give out copies of the Matrimonial Causes Act section 25 when people are getting married, maybe even send them an annual copy

nature girly wrote:

I guess it sounds simple and idealistic, but bring out new marriage laws to be abided by upon separation. Kind of 'petition pending' laws.


great idea

If I could change the law I would try to encourage/ make it compulsory for mediation to occur especially when there are very young children involved like in my case ( he left when she was only 14 mths old). Through this mediation a full parenting plan that both parents have to adhere to could be drawn up where all is agreed and more importantly the child is not compromised. This could include routines, food, clothes arrangements etc and I am sure that such a full plan would go a long way to reducing disputes between parents and ultimately protect the physcological development of the child.
At the minute it is too easy for one parent to leave, leaving all of the responsibility to the primary carer..


Another thing from my experiences is how banks and courts deal with the finances. I have had a nightmare with joint accounts that he has stripped and run up over drafts on but the current laws stipulate that as it is a joint account than I am liable too.. Surely they could be a provision put in place with proof provided of a dates and transactions to protect spouses from their spouses spending and deliberate actions to affect their credit rating...matrimionial blocks are in place but this has not been enough to protect me from huge debts...

Section 25 of the matrimonial clauses for ancillary relief is perhaps the vaguest document I have ever read. It needs to be really very clearly laid out and I believe that conduct of one party should be taken into account more...

Young children from a marriage should have more protection and not be treated as a commodity to be shared out and their time split... more needs to be done to protect the best interests of the child.

Hello Amanda

My ideas are great but prob never ever be implicated lol

I think the partner that has an affair (has to be proved beyond doubt) - Should have to pay ALL legal costs for both parties!

I think that the assets should still be divided equally (unless offending party is going to cohabitate with new partner)

If one of the parties has committed perjury during court, then this should be allowed a revisit with no time scale attached!

Mediation regarding contact with children should be sought and agreed prior to divorce proceeding & any abuse of order by either party should be automatically taken back to court with offending party again covering all costs.

Parent Alienation instigated by any parent should result in child welfare taking immediate action & weekly monitoring of offending parent & also intense counselling for parent!

In no way should any partner be able to walk into someones life & receive 50% of any assests accumulated prior to marriage!

Spousal Maint should be awarded for 6 months only in order for receiver to apply for work - if pay does not cover living costs then do what the rest of us do - stop living beyond your means! DWP apply this for unemployed!!!

or - SM should cease immediately when receiver starts cohabitating or even new partner staying for 2 nights or more!

Child Support should not be given to one parent! Each parent should be responsible for the welfare of child whilst in their care!

CB & Working Tax Credits should be also shared between both parents with equal or say 60/30 care..

Thats it for now... I was on a rant.. Ha Ha

Some things I feel are just not fair for some parents..

Angel x

Hi Amanda

I think that you should be offered within the first free half hour of solicitors time an exmple or explanation that one can file for their own divorce up to nisi stage. Maybe solicitors could charge a small fee for a pack and self explainitory steps to do this. After all the forms are free from the courts and mostly up to nisi stage the divorce process is simple and methodical.

Many of us, myself included have racked up £1000's in legal bills, before even reaching nisi with correspondence not needed to get to nisi stage.

Thus on reaching nisi the financial side which I agree is more complicated and expensive can be picked up with solicitors, mediation or collaboration.

moon x