Good idea FOS to restart this thread.
The cinderella complex
Collette Dowling (outof print 2nd hand on amazon)
This book is
about working towards true independence. Its a book for women. A lot of
women will recognise themselves in what is written certainly I did.
People of the lie - Scott Peck
Its a hardgoing book but
nothing helped me understand the mindset of complusive liars than this
book. Its advanced this book start with Mellody and Collins below.
The betrayal bond - Dr Patrick Carnes
Good book on why we get
hooked into relationships that hurt us and why we can be loyal to
abusers.
The intimacy factor Pia Mellody
Very good
book about what healthy relationships should be and about establising
healthy boundaries.Drawing on more than 20 years' experience as a
counsellor at the renowned Meadows Treatment Centre in Arizona, Mellody now
shares what she has learned about why intimate relationships falter--and
what makes them work. Using the most up-to-date research and real-life
examples, including her own compelling personal journey, Mellody provides
readers with profoundly insightful and practical ground rules for
relationships that achieve and maintain joyous intimacy.
This
invaluable resource helps diagnose the causes of faulty relationships--many
of them rooted in childhood--and provides tools for readers to heal
themselves, enabling them to establish and maintain healthy
relationships
IMHO, she goes a bit off piste at the end but this is
only the last chapter. Best book on boundaries I ever read.
Love
Addiction - Pia Mellody
Mellody clearly outlines the 'toxic'
patterns played out by Love Addicts and the unresponsive Avoidance Addicts
to whom they are painfully and repeatedly drawn. She shares personal
experience and real case histories that
• Clarify the
distinctions between codependence (how our relationship with our self
fails) and co-addiction (how our relations with others become unhealthy
entanglements)
• Describe how 'love at first sight' can be the first
step in the addictive cycle of attraction, fantasy, denial, and
obsession
• Show how childhood experiences of abandonment or
engulfment influence our choice of romantic partners, friends, and
associates
• Detail the tango-like way that addicts activate one
another's primary fears and literally 'bring out the worst in each
other'
• Hopefully, compassionately, and realistically outline the
recovery process
Emotional unavailability by B Collins out of
print but it is second hand off amazon
Psychologist Bryn Collins
opens up the discussion about life with emotionally unavailable partners.
She begins by unequivocally stating that you are not the problem. Collins
uses solution-focused skills to help you identify, cope with, and change
these painful associations and teaches you how to recognize and avoid
emotionally unavailable partners in the future. This book also offers the
emotionally unavailable partner techniques that allow him or her to learn
to connect. Using case studies, quizzes, and jargon-free,
easy-to-understand concepts, Collins discusses the most common types of
emotionally unavailable partners: Romeos and Romiettes, who come on strong
and then disappear; Indiana Joneses, high-intensity partners who always
keep their heads - and their hearts; Tens and Other Trophies, who rely on
their good looks to enchant without any real connection; Mama's Boys and
Daddy's Girls, who never learned to feel their feelings and expect you to
pick up where Mama and Daddy left off; 'Holics, who are more interested in
the relationship with their addiction than with you; Emotional Einsteins,
for whom love is an intellectual exercise, ... and many more.
Getting love right by Terencce Gorski
Now this is a good book
if you are scared about moving on into a new relationship. Trust issues
worry you - well this book addresses why stuff does not work and why it
does in relationships
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN HOW TO
LOVE
When you fall in love you may be repeating bad relationship
habits that you learned growing up or in a previous unhealthy relationship.
No matter what your history, "Getting Love Right" can explain how to build
and maintain healthy intimacy, including:
* How to recognize if
you are in a compulsive, apathetic, or healthy relationship
*
How to become a person who is capable of healthy intimacy
* How
to choose a healthy partner
If you are in a relationship or
want to be in one, Terence T. Gorski will teach you that love isn't just
something that happens -- love is something you can learn
My counsellor got me doing a lot of reading - she knows I love
books. These
books have helped me no end and enabled me
to get the most from therapy sessions.
Forum 
England and Wales 
Scotland 
