Hello my fellow Wikis, it has been a long time since I last blogged, possibly because I am not too sure of the value I can add to each and everyone of your heartbreaking stories...but I hear you all and spur you all on, all of the time.... I have been a bit of a recluse to be honest, purely because work, the children and just surviving takes up just about every waking minute that I have. I avoid 'town' for fear of bumping into him and 'her'. I avoid 'supermarkets' for fear of the same thing...I am not the one who should be skulking about, he should, he was the liar, the cheat, the

I ask the STBX because that's what I do, that's my personality.. I am not aggressive or pushy its who I am. OK I don't fit in this type of situation, I avoid confrontation at all costs and to my detriment now. I was pushed far enough to shout back last week, and I also put exactly the financial position in her hands and not my girls are gone. Why can't I see my children, what has she said I do not know.. what has she told her parents I have no idea. I want to go to her parents and smash the doors down, I want to take my girls away from this controlling manipulative devious woman..

So I have had a night to myself, no I didn't sleep in a bed.. I stayed on the airbed where I had the comfort of being me and in my place. I left the blinds open in the hope they came back home, but they didn't. the house was very quiet and for the first time ever I was 'not allowed' to say good night to my girls. I know this is a repeat but this was the text exchange last night. I got a text saying simply "we wont" meaning be back.. "best I come and say goodnight then" "no best you don't" was her response I replied "well then I want to talk to them" "not today its time for