For the last seven months or so my stbx and I have been swapping places every week so the kids didn''t have to move at all. This was good in the short term but as it became apparent that we weren''t moving toward reconciliation I knew it would not stay this way. Moving every week was killing her and she finally said she would not do it any longer. Fair enough.

So now the 2 bedroom apartment that we rented is my home and the family house is hers. We have two girls aged 14 and 11 and a boy aged 8. The arrangement we have come up with, for now, is that the kids will be at my place every other

Feeling very strange today. Managed to get through the first weekend without the kids by keeping busy and spending time with friends. Actually it was ok. Dad brought them home yesterday and they were tired but happy. I realised last night that something has changed in me. We talked like old friends, we hugged and he told me about what he is doing and it all sounds so sad. I think he is depressed maybe even suffering some kind of breakdown. I don''''''''t think there is anyone else. The thing is, a month ago this realisation would have totally messed with my head and had me in pieces.

Despite only actively using about this site for a week - this is where I find myself on a Monday morning knowing that I have to go to work when I barely feel able to put one foot in front of the other. I know that it''''''''s over & I''''''''ve known it for a while but today is the day that it''''''''s "real". I don''''''''t know where to put the pain and the weariness so I''''''''m parking it here for the day. While I''''''''m at work, could I ask all you wonderful people to kick it, laugh at it, disrespect it and refuse to give it any time? Hopefully this means that when I get home & pick