I havent blogged for a while because I havent felt the need to (thats good I think!) I came back from my holiday with my boys yesterday - for those not keeping up with my story this was my first holiday on my own with my 4 sons. Me, a survivor of extreme anxiety, residual fear of driving and going to new places still cause me anxiety. Anyway we had the MOST FABULOUS holiday. it was the best holiday i think I EVER remember. the weather was decent, the boys were well behaved, we all had lots of fun and I kept catching myself smiling and feeling relaxed which I didnt expect tbh. I

had the stbx screaming at me this afternoon: the excuse was does he send letters about child contact to me or my solicitors. As he knows I have a solicitor acting and has been told to go thru them before due his abuse, the answer was largely DURRRRRR. But anyway this was merely the excuse - the real reason was to threaten me with court again. I stood up to him and pointed out we have to do mediation and there will be no dragging me anywhere. then I go all the "well no-one liked court. you said it caused you anxiety" (oh so NOW he cares?!) Honeslty Im sick to death of this. I had a go

I've had a great morning out with my boys - i took them all for a haircut and they were all impeccably behaved (Bit upset as No 3 son had attacked his hair with scissors which meant he's had to have a No 4 all over and it doesn't suit him :/) so afterwards we went to the park. The thought of 4 young kids in the park probably fills most with fear. When the ex left I didnt know how *I'd* cope, but the kids have been my salvation - they have grown into the extra responsibility I have had to foist upon them; everyone remembers about crossing roads, about staying together, about keeping Mum