It's two years since I posted on this blog and I realise from looking at my past posts that I've always talked about how upset and distressed I am about splitting from the woman I now call Ex.

This is no different.

Yesterday my children told me that she has a man in her life (called Andy). I don't know why I should be surprised - she is still a very very attractive woman, that doesn't stop when you get a divorce. and God knows it's two years since she said she wanted a split.

But

. . .

Sweet mother of God this hurts like hell.

I'll get over it - I know - in a few days I'll have got into the way

Ullswater. If there is a better, more atmospheric place in England I don't know it. Tonight the sun shone on a slate grey lake while the mountains rose into the sky, a halo of cloud around Hellvelyn.

I'm troubled tonight. By a lot of things.

Some are so private I'm not even voicing them here.

I'm not mad at my wife - I can still call her that for a few weeks until the seperation documentation is through.  I have descided that she means well. After all theres no rule that says love does last forever. And if her comments confuse and upset me I can genuinly believe that they are not mean't with

What a night - a night of almost River city proportions.

Before anything I want to thank Biff and esp Helianthus for keeping a very drunk James from going bonkers. Biff your kindness personified and Heli, dear god girl your something else. I think our conversation last night defines laughing through the tears. I've not laughed so much in ages.

Tears - there were a lot last night.

I went to offer stbx a cup of tea and twenty minute later our divorce was sorted. I am extremely fortunate in that unlike a lot of wiki's I get on extremely well with her. There were days at the start full of fights