Momentous day and one I never thought I'd experience. Firstly because I believed him to be living 200 miles away and long gone from the area, and secondly because I never thought I would get over losing the man I loved so much to my friend.

I was driving along today and for the first time in almost two years, I saw him. It was over and done before I had time to think, he was walking along the road and I drove on.

 I loved that man so much for 21 years of my life and he was now just some guy walking down the road. Never, ever thought I would say this but I felt total... indifference. I used to

I'd known him for a few years professionally but hadn't seen him for over a year when I walked into the library that day and saw him.  He stood up and smiled that brilliant smile when he saw me and walked towards me and that is when I fell in love with him 25 years ago today.  We became inseparable until he decided to have an affair with my friend and colleague.

Since then I've had an affair with wikivorce.

Being part of this community helped me to see that there are patterns of common behaviours which make a kind of sense of what has happened. This was the very beginning of the healing process

It's the one year mark this week since my stbx and I parted company when we finally moved from our home and I realise that I am in a very different place from a year ago. I was lost and very vulnerable. I didn't know what I wanted or where I wanted to be. I felt totally bereft of emotions and adrift from reality.

I've got my career back on track to a certain extent which is good for professional self-esteem. I've got a lot of friends and a nice new home. I have enough money to survive, so I know I have a lot to be grateful for when I read the posts and blogs of people left with nothing, but I