emotional diaorrhoea

Yesterday i had a bad day. But not today. Yesterday was a sunday. usually i try to drown myself in work so i can switch off from my feelings but on sundays i have no meetings, nobody to call. I spent almost all day in bed. Had to drag myself out of bed at 4pm to get something to eat, and even then it tasted like cardboard. Despite sleeping all day i was in bed again early. Guess thats why i was up at 4am tossing and turning. You know how it is, u drift back into sleep two minutes before your alarm goes off. So of course i was i flight mode all day. You know when you're flying and they ask you to switch off you phone so the signal doesn't interfere with the pilot's stuff, some phones have a feature called flight mode where your phone is on and you can use basic functions like your calc, play games etc but its not transmitting or receiving a signal. So flight mode, thats what i call it when i'm awake but there's no brain activity.

So on top of not having slept i had a really bad day at work. In my effort to remove myself from the reach of s2bx's manipulative vodoo i asked the company where i work for a transfer and was given the task of setting up a branch office in another country! I'm 6hrs away from home. So work was really stressful today. 

But you know what, my work day ended well. I'm tired but feeling motivated about tomorrow. Then i read a post by a fellow wiki peep and she said life went on. The supermarkets kept opening, the buses kept running. And i thought, life will go on whether i'm miserable or happy. All that wallowing in bed, i was so depressed when i was with that lunatic i used to spend entire weekends in bed. But now, even if i do, i know its on the way somewhere, to a better place. 

I know i won't always feel this positive so let me put it down while i am. I'm going to think of this experience as a really bad case of food poisoning. You know when u eat something bad and u get a running tummy. You get really bad stomach cramps and your tummy is running and your head hurts and you want to die! But the doctor says thats your body's way of cleaning itself to get rid of the bad food you ate. So yes, i'll hurt and i'll ache and i'll sometimes wish i was dead, i just have to remember that its the only way my system can rid itself of the bad thing that i married. I just have to wait out the emotioanl diaorrhoea and in the meantime stay emotioanlly rehydrated by doing things that make me happy, being with people who are supportive and looking forward to a time when all this will be flushed away to forever dwell in the septic tank of life with all my other vile experiences!