Thanks guys - you have no idea what the support you have given means to me, and I am so grateful. Still strikes me that strangers acn be kind but my "husband" does not give a monkeys.

So, filed the divorce papers yesterday. Hardest thing I have ever done but in a funny way I think it did me good - first step on the road to closure.

In the meantime I am listening to "its not right, but its ok" by Whitney Houston and can recommend it for any of you with adulterous partners!

I awoke early this morning mind whirring after a tough day at work yesterday after which I came home and just felt desperate that there was no one there to share my hopes and fears with. After collapsing in bed I woke at 4.30 and now feel like i have no energy. I am seeing my solicitor today which Im not looking forward to and somewhere in the middle of all of this I need to take care of my business and also find some time out for me to c alm down and try and get some respite from everything.

I wish there was a magic solution to all of this but I know there is not. I just need to keep battling

Past encapsulated like a scene

in a paperweight frozen to be

picked up examined mulled

over not permitted to

spill over intrude into

now colour the already

murky muddy waters of

messy thoughts circling

whirling ripples

pebble cast